Pre-marital Counseling -- Looking Back

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Mr. Joey and I finished our last session of required pre-martial counseling/ pre-cana yesterday. Now that it's over, I can look back and say I'm not sure it was for us. There was very little we discussed in those meetings that we hadn't discussed before as a couple. I'm not sure if we're boring and don't have any conflict or if it's just meant to be :). Actually, I like to think we've worked through all the discussion points (family, church, finances, communication, intimacy) in our own time and way.

Did I think the sessions were useful? Sort of. They made us move on a few issues we had neglected like finally going in and talking to a financial planner. We've been talking about it for months and finally went. It also made us think about if we were to have kids, would we baptize them Catholic. We hadn't thought about that before -- mostly because we aren't 100% sure we'll have kids.

So yes, the sessions were sort of helpful but I also think we would have been just fine without them. I do, however, think the sessions, or even just the FOCCUS questionnaire would have been helpful early on in the relationship when we were moving in together. We probably wouldn't have needed to talk about family planning, but talking about communication styles and finances could have helped. Our relationship is really easy now (I'm knocking on wood) but those first 3 or 4 months living together definitely weren't. Yes, we worked everything out, but I'm sure talking it out with someone else would have been better.

I think the course would be great for a couple who aren't already "co-habitating." It may not be absolutely necessary, but it definitely useful. I also think a session on family planning and raising a family would be more useful during a pregnancy. I can't think about how I'd discipline my kids -- I don't have any and don't plan on having any for a few years.

To end my two cents on all this, I'll say there were some surprising moments particularly when taking the FOCCUS test. Here's one statement it asked me to agree/disagree with that I'll leave you with, "I am concerned that either my future spouse or I may use sex as a way to control each other." Huh? It took me by surprise as I read it at 7am while silently participating in a teleconference. I was hesitant to continue after that question for fear that pictures and diagrams would appear with questions to follow. :)

If you participated in any required pre-marital courses, did you look back and realize it was useful?