Can I handle it?

The passing of my beloved dog Mieko (PENGY - Can you please link to the Good Dog Down post?) got me thinking, can I have kids? Losing Mieko was like losing a sibling. It hurts so hard and so deep. My parents cried for days before and after -- so did I. He was part of our family and losing him is really, really hard.


Losing Mieko made me think about kids. If this what it's like to worry about the health of a dog, crap, what's it like with kids? Mr. Joey and I aren't 100% sure we wanted kids. When we first started dating he didn't want kids and I was sure I wanted them. As time passed, he's come around. His brother wasn't sure he wanted kids either. Both FBIL Joey and his wife were focused on their careers. FBIL Joey is a Professor and his wife is a Neurologist. But FBIL also came around and now Mr. Joey is uncle to two very cute little boys.


I, on the other hand, have gone the other way a little. I was so sure I wanted kids and then I got a job where I travel a lot. Could I really be a Mom and travel? Could I give up traveling? I know it sounds selfish but traveling is a disease for me. No joke. I get fidgety and tense if I haven't traveled in a while. My Dad worked on a Greek merchant ship for 10 years and traveled the world before he married -- it's in the blood. I've been actively traveling internationally since I was 16 years old. Could I really stop? And if I didn't stop, would it be fair to leave Mr. Joey to care for a child alone for weeks at a time?


I tell myself that if we decided to have kids, we'd figure it out. All parents do, right? But then Mieko gets sick and passes away and I wonder if I could handle a little Joey. Could I handle a little one getting sick? I'm not so sure. Could I even handle having another dog?


For all of you with kids, pregnant or sure you are having kids, how did you know? How did you know you could handle all the blessings that children bring and all of the heartache that is possible? For those of you who have lost a pet, how did you know you could love another furry?