If you are planning a wedding, don't plan on building a house. Building a house sort of dropped (like a cement block) into our laps. I don't know if I shared with you how this all came about, but here's a little background. When my maternal grandma died, she left me and my parents a pretty good sum of money. Instead of spending it or putting it in a college fund, my parents decided to buy some property. The double lot they purchased wasn't in the best neighborhood, but any house built on it would have a great view.
Over the last 16 years, the neighborhood has really improved. Businesses are coming in and they build an elementary school 3 blocks away from our property. For years, my parents talked about building a house there and making it the last home they had. But something changed a few years ago. As the prices of homes sky rocketed in the Seattle-area, my parents realized that I wouldn't be able to buy a home at 30 like they did. I made decent money for Non-profit work and I'm a really great money saver, but despite that, a house wouldn't be in the cards.
When Mr. Joey and I got engaged, they started talking about giving us part of the double lot. Actually, they started talking about it when sister Joey got married but they didn't seem serious about it until September of last year. Then in January everything was a go. Building priced were down, we could get the money, my Dad (the contractor) had time this summer -- everything fell into place. In March, the last was signed over to me and I became a property owner. Just in time to pay property taxes -- my parents are no dummies :).
We started working with an architect that month and by mid-April had our packet into the city planning office. It wasn't my intention to plan a wedding and build a house at the same time. The cards fell into place and my Dad gave me a "Build it or Bust" speech. So we went with building it. In hind sight, I should have tried to convince him to start later -- like after the wedding. Just the permit process has been all consuming. I feel like I can't put anything into my regular life let alone wedding planning. I don't know how many times I've gotten a call from someone at 2pm telling me to pick up something here and get that notarized there. Luckily, because I've made my life flexible for work, work is now being flexible with my life.
I have wedding DIY projects that need to get done that get put aside because I have to fight it out with my contractor (dad), architect (family friend) or the city planning office. I even got so frustrated with the permit process that I emailed the Mayor's office to complain. Funny, it actually helped. A really nice guy at the planning office has been hand holding my packet through the permit process ever since.
It's hard to stay positive about one good thing (the wedding) when the other good thing (the house) is draining you of all your energy. People ask me what I want for bachelorette parties or showers and all I have to offer is, "I don't care as long as I don't have to do anything." I can't get excited about table settings when all I can think about is if our soil engineer will get his comments to the city by Monday. I thought I could separate the wedding and house but somehow these two different milestone events have become so tied together that I can't think about the wedding without thinking about the house.
The house was suppose to be done right around the time of the wedding. If we had been on schedule, we would have gone from the airport after the honeymoon to the new house. Our registry indecisiveness has revolved around the house. Everyone who knows we're building is expecting to see a house when they come to town. Let's just say there's a lot of stress when I think of the house and then the wedding.
My Mom told me not to stress out about it. She says stress will make for an ugly bride. :) But how can I not stress about two somethings that have taken up so much of my life for the last 3 or 4 months. Sometimes I think we should have eloped, sold the land and bought a condo. I want to be excited about both events -- they both are true blessings -- but most days I'm too tired, too overwhelmed and too busy to be excited.
So yes, my advice, don't plan a wedding and a house at the same time. Did you take on a big project while you were planning a wedding?
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