Trying to find FOCCUS

Like Ms. Mascara and Mrs. Dumpling, various bees before me have blogged about doing Pre-Cana and taking the FOCCUS test. Like most men I know, Mr. Joey was not really interested in any type of pre-marital counseling. He's willing to spill the beans on our checking accounts with a financial planner but not discuss our relationship with counselor or other certified person. I totally understand. I'm not really comfortable talking about my feeling in front of a stranger either.

Since our chapel doesn't offer marriage prep classes, I set about trying to find somewhere else to take them. Engaged Encounter was out. Mr. Joey can't afford to lose his entire weekend at this point in the school year. Doing it in the summer would be fine, but our officiant said that would be cutting it too close. I called some local Catholic Churches but had no luck either. Classes already started or they only allowed parishioners to participate. I looked into private non-Catholic counseling but the price tag was hefty and Mr. Joey wasn't willing to shell out that kind of money for something he didn't think we needed.

I was about to give up and force Mr. Joey into taking the Engaged Encounter when my sister suggested I look at Seattle University. I had planned to get married in their chapel but the date that was available didn't work with our schedule and I had to give it up. I wasn't sure they'd let me take pre-cana there since I wasn't getting married in their chapel, but thought I'd try anyway.

I'm so glad I made that call. Kathy in the Campus Ministry department was happy to conduct our pre-cana and set us up with the FOCCUS test. She said she knew our priest and as long as I had attend Seattle U, it was fine. Lucky for me I did go to Seattle U for a few years and went to it's prep school. On top of that, when I emailed Kathy to confirm the price of the sessions, she happily told me they were free. FREE!? Awesome! Seattle University can expect a small donation or gift from Mr. and Mrs. Joey in the future.

We had our first session yesterday, and I'm soooo glad we ended up at Seattle University. I think because their campus ministry is pretty liberal and it's a college, Kathy was much easier to talk to. She didn't flinch when we told her that we "co-habitate" or that the main reason we're getting married in a Catholic Church was to please our parents. She was just so pleased that we had it together. I think most of the couples she sees are in their early to mid-twenties and haven't dated too long. She said it was rare to get a couple in who had a tested and stable work/home/relationship balance. Over 4 years together and almost 3 in a shared home -- we have it down. Thankfully, the test said the same thing. The Joeys are a perfect fit.

If you did pre-cana or other religious pre-marital counseling, did you feel comfortable being yourself and answering questions in a way you knew were not inline with your church (i.e. living together, birth control?)