The other kind of planning

Mr. Papaya Dog and I have always been open about our incomes. We've had to. When we first moved back to Seattle, I was partially supporting him as he looked for full-time work. We split the rent but I covered most of our grocery expenses and most of our utility bills. He helped out as much as he could by doing temp work while he was working part-time as a history teacher. Apparently, not all teachers are in high demand. Finding work as an English or History high school teacher can be hard.

Mr. Papaya Dog has been full-time for 2 years, so we now split all the expenses evenly. We've talked about our financial future before, but only briefly and only when talking about how we'll never be able to retire or buy a house.

Recently, my parents told me that they wanted to give my sister and I part of our inheritance before they passed away. My Mom had breast cancer last year and while she was recovering, she decided that she wanted to see her children enjoy their lives and what they were set to inherit. My parents have a double lot in a neighborhood in Seattle that is up and coming. They want to split the lot and give each one of us one a piece.

This is a HUGE gift. I'm not sure Mr. Papaya Dog and I could afford to buy or build anything in Seattle on our incomes. This is our chance to actually own something. We were ready to undertake this huge gift and project over the summer but then before we knew it, the country was in a mortgage crisis and we decided we probably needed to wait and see how things developed.

Even though the economy doesn't look like it's doing that much better, we think we need to actively start thinking about building a house. We've set up some meetings with some friends who are architects and one who is mortgage loan officer to see where we are and if we have a chance in the next few years of actually getting this project off the ground.

Setting up these meeting have made Mr. Papaya Dog and I think about our bigger financial future. How do we merge our limited assets? Once we're married, what's the best way to save for retirement and those big expenses in life like a home, children, etc. In addition, Mr. Papaya Dog still has grad school loans where as I have paid all mine off. How does that work? Should I be helping him pay that off? We have so many financial questions that we think we need to talk to a professional. I always read that money and financial problems are two of the most common reasons marriages fall apart.

We're asking around for referrals and hoping to meet with a financial counselor in the next few months. Have you and your fiance discussed your financial future together? Did you see financial planner together before getting married? Was it helpful?