The Happiest Day of Our Lives (so far)!

The Joeys made it legal yesterday! No, I'm not talking about getting our marriage license (we already did that), I'm talk about getting our building permit! WE HAVE A PERMIT! I can't tell how relieved I am. I feel like a new women -- seriously.

The permit consumed both our lives for the last 3 months particularly all of June. There were a lot of tears, a lot swear words, plenty of begging and pleading and now it's all over and we've got it. I'm so happy that it doesn't even matter that it took 1 month longer than it should have (our paperwork sat on someone's desk while he was on vacation for 3 weeks) or cost us over $2000 more than we were told initially. All that matters is we got it and we break ground Monday.

Getting our permit came at the perfect time. We've got less than a month to go and we both really need to focus on the wedding. Lucky for us, we planned ahead and made some decisions about the house (roofing, siding and kitchen) that should allow my Dad and his team work through our honeymoon without us needing to make any major decisions.

Anyone else have a non-wedding related victory lately that will surely help free up some much needed wedding planning time?

A Word of Advice...

If you are planning a wedding, don't plan on building a house. Building a house sort of dropped (like a cement block) into our laps. I don't know if I shared with you how this all came about, but here's a little background. When my maternal grandma died, she left me and my parents a pretty good sum of money. Instead of spending it or putting it in a college fund, my parents decided to buy some property. The double lot they purchased wasn't in the best neighborhood, but any house built on it would have a great view.

Over the last 16 years, the neighborhood has really improved. Businesses are coming in and they build an elementary school 3 blocks away from our property. For years, my parents talked about building a house there and making it the last home they had. But something changed a few years ago. As the prices of homes sky rocketed in the Seattle-area, my parents realized that I wouldn't be able to buy a home at 30 like they did. I made decent money for Non-profit work and I'm a really great money saver, but despite that, a house wouldn't be in the cards.

When Mr. Joey and I got engaged, they started talking about giving us part of the double lot. Actually, they started talking about it when sister Joey got married but they didn't seem serious about it until September of last year. Then in January everything was a go. Building priced were down, we could get the money, my Dad (the contractor) had time this summer -- everything fell into place. In March, the last was signed over to me and I became a property owner. Just in time to pay property taxes -- my parents are no dummies :).

We started working with an architect that month and by mid-April had our packet into the city planning office. It wasn't my intention to plan a wedding and build a house at the same time. The cards fell into place and my Dad gave me a "Build it or Bust" speech. So we went with building it. In hind sight, I should have tried to convince him to start later -- like after the wedding. Just the permit process has been all consuming. I feel like I can't put anything into my regular life let alone wedding planning. I don't know how many times I've gotten a call from someone at 2pm telling me to pick up something here and get that notarized there. Luckily, because I've made my life flexible for work, work is now being flexible with my life.

I have wedding DIY projects that need to get done that get put aside because I have to fight it out with my contractor (dad), architect (family friend) or the city planning office. I even got so frustrated with the permit process that I emailed the Mayor's office to complain. Funny, it actually helped. A really nice guy at the planning office has been hand holding my packet through the permit process ever since.

It's hard to stay positive about one good thing (the wedding) when the other good thing (the house) is draining you of all your energy. People ask me what I want for bachelorette parties or showers and all I have to offer is, "I don't care as long as I don't have to do anything." I can't get excited about table settings when all I can think about is if our soil engineer will get his comments to the city by Monday. I thought I could separate the wedding and house but somehow these two different milestone events have become so tied together that I can't think about the wedding without thinking about the house.

The house was suppose to be done right around the time of the wedding. If we had been on schedule, we would have gone from the airport after the honeymoon to the new house. Our registry indecisiveness has revolved around the house. Everyone who knows we're building is expecting to see a house when they come to town. Let's just say there's a lot of stress when I think of the house and then the wedding.

My Mom told me not to stress out about it. She says stress will make for an ugly bride. :) But how can I not stress about two somethings that have taken up so much of my life for the last 3 or 4 months. Sometimes I think we should have eloped, sold the land and bought a condo. I want to be excited about both events -- they both are true blessings -- but most days I'm too tired, too overwhelmed and too busy to be excited.

So yes, my advice, don't plan a wedding and a house at the same time. Did you take on a big project while you were planning a wedding?

Getting Back on Track

For the first part of last week, I wasn't in a wedding mood. Most of my friends let me know they wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding. I totally understood their reasons but I didn't make their absence hurt less.

I took a few days off and didn't really do many wedding related things besides answering emails. I just needed a few moments to get over the initial disappointment and move on.

Lucky for me, a few friends and one great vendor helped me out. I found out on Thursday that 2 friends I didn't expect to come to Seattle will in fact be making the journey out west. I am so EXCITED!! I can't wait to see them -- it's been so long.

The other great piece of news is that we've decided on our rehearsal dinner vendor. We're definitely going with Lynn at Lake Street Catering. Amazing!! She brought over a tasting on Friday and we went to look at the dinner site on Saturday morning. It's going to be perfect.
The food was delicious!! And there was so much of it. Wait until you see the menu. I think we're are set. We've got a deposit for the dinner going out this week.

On top of that, I got an email from Mary, maker of breakfast goodness, with suggestions for the breakfast spread. It sounds soooo yummy. You'll have to wait for that menu too.

I can't wait for the wedding week now. Great people coming out to eat amazing food and celebrate a wonderful occasion.

What wedding accomplishment really got you into high gear?

Vacation from the Wedding - part 1

Our good friends Dani and Jer got married over the weekend in at the beautiful Darlington House in La Jolla San Diego. It was the best wedding I've been to. I had a great time and Mr. Joey even danced!!

The funny thing about attending someone's wedding while you planning your own, is that your mind races with every new and interesting detail you see. First, the ceremony. They were married by a friend and had a non-religious ceremony. They also broke the ceremony up into sections:

Welcome and Meaning of Marriage

Reading 1

Vows and Exchange of Rings

Reading 2

Sand Ceremony

Reading 3

Closing Words and Intrduction of New Couple

I really like the flow of the wedding. It looked like it would be long, but it wasn't, or it didn't feel that way. They did something interesting called the Sand Ceremony. Each person had a container of sand representing their individual life and together they poured them into a new container symbolizing the grains of ther lives coming together. I thought it was a great personal touch.

image: Leslie Spero

The readings were also great too. The first was from the movie, When Harry Met Sally, and the second was the poem Hug-O-War by Shel Silverstien and the third was an excerpt from the The Velveteen Rabbit.

I SO want to do something similar but it isn't really permitted in the ceremony. Oh, well…

The silver lining in all this is that watching Dani and Jer share their vows made Mr. Joey think about what it's going to be like for us. Mr. Joey was hesitant about having a Catholic blessing but agreed to it. After our last meeting with the officiant, he officially checked out of the ceremony planning. All the rules and regulations and limited flexibility in the ceremony was too much for him. I set about collecting readings and gospels for him to look at but he ultimately said whatever I wanted was fine. I wasn't happy with the answer but I was OK with it. Then something happened to Mr. Joey during the ceremony and suddenly he had all sorts of ideas.

For Example:

Doing the first and second readings in Sinhalese (Sri-Lankan Language) and Tagalog (the Filipino language my family speaks) with English translations in the program. He said he thought it would be something nice for my parents, particularly my Dad. Seriously? I almost started to cry. Mr. Joey isn't really the sentimental type so this was a big gesture.

Adding a third reading. Something we both love. I really love Mrs. Kitten's idea about using, Oh, the Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss. It could work. The readings we're thinking about from the bible are super short. Maybe if we did an excerpt, we could fit something else in.

The bride's processional. He said that if I didn't mind, he wanted to come up with something special that would be a surprise. Again, Seriously? Are you sure you're Mr. Joey?

Did you FI suddenly get interested in an aspect of the planning that he previously ignored? What made him do so?

If We Had to Do It Again - Part 2

Two words -- Salk Institute.





I know I'm trying to be frugal with our wedding budget and save for the construction of our house but I would give my right leg, left arm and donate all my healthy cells to the institute to get married here.

Here a little background: Jonas Salk invented the polio vaccine (amazing) and purposely did not patent it so it could be available to everyone (double amazing). Because of his talent and forward thinking, he was given A LOT of money to build a research institute. Because he's so smart, he headed west to the paradise that is now La Jolla, California to find somewhere that would inspire artists and scientist alike. He teamed up with the amazing architect Louis Kahn and together they created the place of my wedding dreams (and haven for biological studies).

Mr. Joey is a architecture nerd. All his friends from college are architects or came from families of architects. I think he even did his master's thesis on the effect building architecture has on high school learning. See -- architecture nerd:) Anywho, when we started making plans for San Diego, Mr. Joey asked if we could go on a tour of the Salk Institute. I thought we were going to learn more about polio, so I of course was in.

Oh, there was little about polio and that's ok. The tour was about the architecture and vision of Kahn and Salk. Stunning. Absolutely stunning. Seriously, I would have considered a destination wedding to San Diego just to get married here. Sounds crazy but I could see the lines of my dress in the architecture of the buildings.

Alas, were not getting married here but someone could. The tour guide said that they do host weddings on the weekends. I have no idea what it costs, but it can't be cheap. I did find out that visiting the grounds and the cafeteria is free and open to the public. If you are in the area and need somewhere to inspire you, I can think of no better place. If you are an area bride, I have two more words for you -- engagement shoot. Think about it. I would:)

Mr. Joey soaking in a few rays and a lot of inspiration.

Wouldn't you love to say your vows and have this in the background?

Perfect place for the reception. Just below the perfect place for the ceremony.

How about sharing a kiss down one of these halls or landings? Sounds like a nice engagement picture to me.

If I Had to Do It Over Again - Part 1

OVERLOAD!

Mr. Joey and I are about to bust. Not in a good way, not in a bad way and not in a financial way (yet). It's been wedding, wedding, house, wedding, house, house, house nonstop for the last 3 weeks. And not just our wedding but everyone else's too. Mr Joey went to a friend's wedding 2 weekends ago and we're headed to a wedding in San Diego this weekend. Of course you know that a wedding isn't just a ceremony and reception, but all the dinners and parties that go along with it. Like I said; wedding, wedding, house, wedding, house, house, house.

Take for example Saturday. We started the day well; a nice long lie in followed by a yummy breakfast prepared by Mr. Joey. As soon as the last bite was in my mouth, my phone rang. It was my Dad asking us to meet him at Lowe's in an hour to look at fences. We know it's early for fences but there were some he got an awesome deal on for another project that he wanted us to look at. If he bought all the fencing for both projects, he could save everyone a huge chunk of change.

After Lowe's, we followed my Dad to the cabinet and counter place. We've been going back and forth about cabinets and counters for weeks. There's a style we're after that we saw at Ikea we'd like to replicate. My Dad suggested that we not buy from Ikea and spend a little more for solid wood cabinets. He said it would last much longer. We agreed but finding the same style elsewhere has been hard. So after weeks of back and forth, we finally ended up with what we want. Check it out. Just imagine it with white counters and cork floors! The layout will be different but the style the same.

After finalizing the cabinets and counters, we headed to a great local wine store to pick up a bottle for dinner. While we were there, we perused the their selection for possible wedding wines. We ended up there longer than we planned. We got to talking with one of their staff about how much wine we should serve. She said that taking into consideration the time of day, the time of year and the number of drinkers, we should probably be buying 2 cases of red and 2 cases of white. She also told us that we can get 5% off each case we buy and we could return unused wine. Good to know.

After a nice walk around our future neighborhood, we headed home so Mr. Joey could sneak in a quick power nap. He had a little headache. While he slept, I tallied up the recent RSVPs and declines, answered emails from various vendors, completed my portion of the FOCCUS test and took an inventory of the fabric and vases we have for the wedding.

Later in the evening we joined friends where the main topic of conversation was the wedding Mr. Joey just attended.

This week Mr. Joey has to take his portion of the FOCCUS test, get pictures taken and his passport renewal application off and we're meeting with our financial planner (finally). I've also been hunting for a new rehearsal dinner location.

Thankfully we're headed to San Diego this week -- for a wedding. Actually, I'm looking forward to San Diego. Sun! Give me Sun! We managed to fit in a few extra days there and are looking forward to being away from our computers (leaving them at home) and not going near a Lowe's for a few days.

I think this break comes at the perfect time. As we near the 3 month mark for the wedding and ground breaking for the house (2 weeks!!!!), we know all the planning will get crazier.

Did you take a break from wedding planning for a few days?

Shaking my booty all night long or until 8pm!

If you've been following the progress of our wedding day schedule, you know that our ceremony is really early which means our reception is pretty early. Our awesome venue, Lake Union Café, does hosts two receptions on Saturday and we're the afternoon one. I actually don't mind that the reception is in the afternoon. The room with filled with natural light and people will get to appreciate the beautiful daytime views of Lake Union. Fitting right? Celebrating our union on the side of Lake Union. I just figured that one out. :)

So here's our current planning dilemma. The after party. We know we want to have one, but we don't know where and what time.

Option 1
Some where close (walking distance) to the reception venue where we could go immediately after. Probably won't be super nice because most of the bars around there aren't to amazing looking.

Option 2
Somewhere else in the city (within 20 minutes drive) that's nicer but still right after the party

Option 3
Somewhere downtown or within 10 minutes of downtown that nicer and serves food. This after party would take place around 8pm. That gives everyone to a chance to change (if they want) and visitors to enjoy a little of the city during the day. It also gives us time to enjoy what just happened (the getting hitched part).

There are pros and cons of each. We'll get a better turn out for Option 1 but I don't want people to feel obligated to come. This is a totally optional event. It's rare we get all our friends in one place and it would be nice to have a little more time with them before we leave for Australia (woot! woot!) and they get back to their regularly scheduled lives. Saying that makes me feel like Option 3 is a better idea but I don't want people to feel like this wedding is an all day event. Remember we're starting early.

Also, I should say, the after party is a cash bar system. We'd hold reserve a space but we'd expect everyone to pay for themselves as this is totally option.

So what do you think?
Option 1
Option 2
Option 3

Ceremony Housekeeping...

Over the weekend Mr. Joey and I met with the priest who is marrying us and the chapel's wedding coordinator. We weren't looking forward to this meeting at all. We knew there were a few housekeeping issues that needed to be taken care of.

When we first asked about getting married at the chapel, we were told its use would be free to us because Mr. Joey is a teacher at the school. When we finally met with the school's priest, he mentioned that the fee was now $500. Hmm. I should have said something then but Mr. Joey said to wait and he'd check it out.

Using the chapel for free was probably the number one reason we decided to hold the ceremony there. The chapel is out of the way and not really convenient unless you live east of Seattle. When the other teachers at school heard about the fee, well, let's day they we're less than happy. They had also been told it would be free. I don't think anyone else is thinking of using it, but I think they like knowing they had that free option. Many teachers and staff lobbied on our behalf and because of that (thanks guys!) we were told the administration would review the fee and we'd find out what it would really be during this housekeeping meeting. Oh great, confrontation with a priest.

The meeting went OK. There were some highlights and some lowlights.

The good news is that we don't have to pay the $500 fee. We're getting it for $250. I'm totally OK with the $250 because I know all the money is going to the chapel coordinator. She's so nice! She was happy to hear we'd be pretty low maintenance and I was happy to hear she was super flexible should anything change. Now we can use the $250 in savings to pay for the required pre-cana classes. It looks like we'll be spending $200 on those, so I guess the in total we're saving $50? Not bad.

Our second piece of good news is that we can arrange the seating in the chapel any way we want. I know right? When can you do that inside a church? The seats are movable and so is the alter. All we have to do is draw up our plans and Geri will arrange to have things moved. I can't wait to play around with this.

The other piece of happy news is that we will be able to set up a mini breakfast bar outside the chapel. The school is less than a year old, so they are super strict about food and drink inside. Because we're having the wedding early and having all pictures done before 10am, we wanted to set up a breakfast bar for people to enjoy. I haven't mentioned to much about it yet because I wasn't sure the school would OK. But they say it will be fine as long as it's set up at the bottom of the stairs or in the teachers lounge. Works for me.

I don't think we got bad news as much as we got a nice good slap of reality. We're doing a Catholic blessing. We originally wanted to do an non-denominational ceremony but both Mama Joey and FMIL Joey asked that we be married in a Catholic. FMIL Joey has been super great about supporting what ever we want, so we felt like we could do this for her. So, blessing it is. For some reason, we thought a blessing would be the Rite of Marriage followed by a blessing and then we'd all peace out. Um, nope. It's the full mass without communion. Mr. Joey was not happy about this.

Now we need to think about scripture readings, gospels and psalms. We hadn't realized this because in our first meeting, we were told a blessing would take no more than 30 minutes. We weren't provided with any materials about Catholic ceremonies at that time because the school didn't have any. We are the first couple to officially be married in the chapel. I probably should have done some research myself. Doh! So now we're going to get our scripture on. Non-scripture passages cannot replace the two required scripture readings but can be read in addition to them. So that means no non-scripture passages. We've got to be out of there because of the hyrdo races and blue angels. Remember? I freaked out about them.

We also learned that we can't have aisle runner and that we have to use musical selections from their list. I told Mr. Joey to push the list. He's picked out music and I think they are totally appropriate for church ceremony. Definitely more so than Endless Love which is on the list. I think if Geri and Father hear the selections, they'd be fine with it.

So, the meeting wasn't all bad but it wasn't all great. We have a little more work to do, a little less freedom and $50 extra to play with, but I guess that's the way it goes. Did you get any surprises (good or bad) from your church or officiate late in the game? What were they and how did you adjust.

P.S.
If anyone in the Seattle area took a pre-cana or other marriage prep course they really liked, will you shoot me a note or mention it below. Since the chapel doesn't offer marriage prep, we have to get it done elsewhere.

Timing is Everything...

...in life, in love and especially in wedding planning! A lot of people have asked me why we sent invitations so early and my response has been timing is everything. I know I've mention it a lot before, but I have been doing a lot of traveling for work over the last 3 years. When I add up all the time I spend away from home last year, it comes to about 4 full months. I don't leave for months at a time, but I do leave for 2-4 weeks several times a year. Besides being gone a lot, I also have to deal with travel notice, or lack thereof. I've gotten less than 10 days notice for every trip I've taken for work. That seems like a reasonable amount of time until you factor in getting your everyday work done ahead of time or covered by someone else, packing, vaccinations, booking flight and rescheduling personal commitments. I'm not complaining (I know, it sounds like I am), I love traveling for work and I love seeing the "real" work get done, but the traveling can disrupt life.

I don't know how many concerts, weekends away, birthday and weddings I've missed because of travel. Last year I missed my own birthday. I hope Mr. Joey didn't have a surprise party planned! I also almost missed our vacation to New Orleans. We had out tickets booked for months and days before we were schedule to take off, I found out I was headed to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia the day after we got back from New Orleans. Fun! We got back to Seattle on a Thursday around lunch and went straight to the travel clinic to get vaccines. The next morning I boarded a plane for Addis via DC and of course got a fever on the plane because of the Yellow Fever vaccine. I told you, I shouldn't travel. :) So this is my life and we deal with it.

When we thought about a wedding, my first reaction was to do it fast because of my work. Not elope, but just get married in 2 or 3 months. That wasn't an option because Mr. Joey is a teacher and once school starts, he has no time off. This basically meant we could get married during mid-winter break (February), Spring Break (April) or Summer Vacation (mid-June through mid-August). Mid-winter break was out. Who wants to be in Seattle in February? Not me. April was out because two friends are getting married that month. That left summer. Mr. Joey was hoping to not have the wedding in June. With school finishing up, grades due and general ware and tear from the school year, he was sure he would be too tired for a wedding. Late August was out because both FFIL and FBIL Joey are professors and they'd be back in school by then. Late July/Early August was the best option.

So we found a date (the only spot) we could get a reception venue and booked it. When this is all said and done, we'll have been wedding planning for 13 months. The Save the Dates went out in October and the invites in late February. It was all done really early but our philosophy about wedding planning is it's better to get it done early than scramble at the end. There are definitely things that will have to wait until the last minute like flowers, but on the whole, come July, I want to be triple checking my list with a Pimms cup in hand. I don't want to be begging my boss to not send me on a trip because I'm not done with wedding stuff. Actually, I'm not sure they'd listen. A co-worker postponed her wedding for work. Yes, you read that right -- postpone her wedding!

Life is full of unexpected turns that can make wedding planning a little bumpy. Sometimes you get sick and sometimes you decide to build a house. Oh yeah, let's not even talk about trying to work around building a house while wedding planning. That has been a big adventure and the real work hasn't even started. But I guess you have to adapt. We're planning this wedding around work schedules and time constraints. It's hard, but it's easier than the alternative.
How did you pick your wedding date? Are you working around work/school schedule?

Dutiful Daughter

I mentioned in some past posts that we made a lot of changes to our wedding plans because of my parents. I know a lot of people say (and have said) that it's our wedding and we should do what we want. While I totally agree, I do still feel like we (mostly me) have the responsibility to consider their wishes. I don't know if it is the Catholic guilt or the Filipino/Sri-Lankan upbringing, but I can't help it. It's just the way it goes.

I can't say that we didn't try to ignore their wishes. We found a great community center (in not the best area) to have the reception at and when I told my Mom about it, I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I made the mistake of asking her what she thought and she made the mistake of telling me. Let's just say there was some crying. She did say it was my wedding, and I could do what I wanted but I still felt really bad that she didn't like it and might even be embarrassed about it. I told her that with our budget and the number of relatives we had to invite, the community center was all we could afford.

She called me later that afternoon and told me she had spoken to my Dad and they were willing to pay up to $6000 towards the food and reception venue if she had a say in that part of the process. I told her I had to talk to Mr. Joey about it. I told him but I was really mad about the compromise. Looking back, I'm not sure why. He was great. He said we could march on with our plans and both my Mom and I would feel bad about the situation or we could take the money and make the best of it. He did say that if we agreed to take the money, then we would limit their say in the wedding to the food and venue. I agreed and we told the parents the news. Since then, my Mom has tried to "give" us her opinion on other elements of the wedding, but I've learned to say, "thanks for that Mom but this isn't part of the agreement."

I know some of you are still wondering why Mr. Joey and I would worry so much about what my parents think. Well, I think there are a lot of reasons, some to do with me and some that don't.

I think the first big reason is that I've cheated them out of 2 proud parent moments. I skipped out on my undergraduate and graduate ceremonies. I never walked down the aisle to collect the fake diploma as my parents cried and cheered me on. When my sister graduated college and we were in the stands cheering her on, my Mom mentioned she would have loved to see me walk.

This was suppose to be their second wedding. My sister was going to have a beautiful wedding. Lovely gown, ceremony at St. Ignatius Chapel at Seattle University and lavish reception at the Edgewater Hotel. Unfortunately that didn't happen. The army had it way and my sister didn't get hers. My parents told everyone about the wedding and then had to tell everyone about the cancellation. It's just me and my sister and I don't know if she'll ever have the chance to have the wedding of her and their dreams. I'm the next best thing.

The last reason is our couple reason. My parents are giving us the means to have our own house. A piece of property on our salaries in Seattle is impossible. This is a HUGE gift. Words can't even describe. And on top of that my dad is giving us his labor for free. We pay for his crew and the materials but he's free. Seriously, how can you not afford them some of their wishes on our wedding day.

I think each bride and groom has outside pressures to deal with when planning a wedding. Ours were are my parents. Did you have to make major changes to your wedding plans to accommodate anyone else's wishes?

My first wedding freak out!

image credit

I had and am having my first wedding related freak out. There was minor swearing, massive amounts to emails to members of my committee and lots asking myself, “why oh why?!” I found out today that the annual Seafair weekend is the same weekend as our wedding. What is Seafair you ask? Well, for those of you not familiar with this ancient Seattle tradition, Seafair weekend is when the annual hydroplane Chevrolet Cup race and Blue Angels air show occur on and over Lake Washington in the heart of the greater Seattle area.

This wouldn’t be such a huge deal except for the fact that our wedding is at 10am across the lake from Seattle in Sammamish and the reception is in Seattle at noon. Traffic across the bridge Seafair weekend is always horrible. Actually, traffic all over Seattle is usually so bad we try to leave town for Seafair. I would try to change the time of the ceremony or even the site of it but of course our invitations just finished printing yesterday. I can’t believe I didn’t even think about Seafair!

This also means hotels and flights into Seattle will cost a lot more. I can’t change the date or the time of the reception, now what am I going to do about the ceremony? Mr. Papaya Dog thinks even with traffic we’ll be OK, but I’m not so sure.

Here are the precautionary changes I’m thinking about making:

1. Originally we were going to do our couple and wedding party pictures before the ceremony and family pictures after, but now we’re thinking of asking everyone to show up 30 to 45 prior to the ceremony to do pictures.

2. Move the ceremony up 30 to 45 minutes. Even thought the invitations are printed, we include a printed card noting the revised time and reason.

3. Rent a bus to ensure everyone gets to Seattle together. My only worry is that if the bus leaves late, then everyone is late to the reception.

I’m considering all three options though option number 2 is a last resort. I’ve emailed the Seafair organizers to ask about the bridge situation and traffic.

What do you think I should do? What would you do?

The Panel

I'm horrible at making decisions. I think about them too long and change my mind constantly. If I didn't have my panel, I probably would have bought 10 pairs of yellow heels before I actually made a decision -- on the day of my wedding. When I was designing our invitations, I made 6 different variations of the same design and couldn't pick between them until my panel stepped in.

The only permanent member of my panel is my friend and old roommate Katie. She and I lived together (and barely survived) grad school in Manchester, England. We did almost everything together. She has great style and is now working at Echo in New York. I trust her to tell me the truth and I trust her style. We do everything by email and the arrangement works great.

The second person on my panel is my sister and maid of honor. She and I have totally different styles and for the most part, that's the biggest reason she's not consulted on every decision. Well, that and the fact that she lives in Italy which makes instant feedback hard.

My sister is on the left

The third person on the panel is my Mom. Like my sister, my Mom and I have totally different opinions on style. I rely on my Mom for etiquette questions, food decisions and other opinions that don't have anything to do with fashion.

The fourth person on the panel is my friend Jeremy. He's the man on the panel who I turn to when I need to know if my choice of wedding color or invitation is far too feminine. I don't want the wedding to be to girly, that's not our style as a couple but sometimes in the heat of the moment, the girly options are the cutest! Jeremy is great because he too is in the middle of wedding planning and understand me when I'm neurotic!

Jeremy as a cow and his lovely bride Dani!

The last person on the panel is of course Mr. Papaya Dog. His opinion matters the most, but obviously he can't help with wedding dress and accessory decisions. On more than one occasion we have had to compromise. We like totally different invitation designs and in the end went for the design that fell in the middle.

Do you have a wedding panel? Who is helping you make your big wedding decisions?