Details, Details -- A Last Minute Idea

Yes, I have one. I know I shouldn't but I think this one will be OK. It may turn out to be less work than the first idea.

So way back when, our ceremony coordinator said the flower girl couldn't throw/drop fresh or dried flowers as she walked in. I was comteplating buying a bag of fake rose petals from Michael's but it just didn't feel like something that went with the style of our wedding. I then had this brilliant idea to make flowers out of the scraps of fabric we used for the table runners. It would tie together the reception and ceremony nicely.

Well, time has passed and I still haven't started on those flowers. I thought about having FMIL Joey take them on, but it may be too time intensive.

Guess What? I have a new plan. What if we made little poms? We're using them to give texture to our centerpieces already. I think they'd be cute, easy to clean up, and brighten the aisle. :) I was thinking a little smaller than small, that way she could fit 6 or 7 in her little basket.

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I also thought about making paper flowers.

I like the pom idea, but what do you ladies think? Fabric flowers, paper flowers or mini poms?

Details, Details -- the Ceremony

The wedding planning is winding down though the wedding crafting feels like it will never end. We just finished the programs and finalized centerpieces, but we still have a lot of cutting, pasting and assembling to do. I just finished the signs fold the wedding party's seats during the ceremony and we met with our awesome photographer over the weekend so he could explore the chapel and the rest of the school.

FMIL Joey is arriving 9 days early to help with the wedding and I can't wait to have her. She's volunteered to do any last minute crafting and I'm definitely taking advantage of that. She's going to make the ring bearer's tie and sew the little bags for our Arrhae tradition. I might need her to sew one more table runner for the breakfast at the Chapel.

Speaking of the breakfast, we finally nailed down the menu and our AMAZING baking friendor Mary has been testing away in her kitchen.

Here's the final menu:
Orange-Poppy Seed Muffins
Strawberry Muffins (Thanks for the suggestion Stiletto!)
Applesauce Bread
Maple Bacon and Cheddar Scones
Chocolate Chip Scones
Blueberry Scones
Veggie Sausage and Cheddar Roll-ups

Yum! Yum! Yum!

Check out the pictures of some of the finished products. Are you hungry yet?

Mary even sent along the recipe for the Strawberry Muffin for me to share with everyone.

Strawberry Muffins

1 3/4 c Self raising flour (To make self-raising flour combine 2 tsp baking powder and 1 cup flour)

1 tsp (additional) baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 sugar

1 cup chopped strawberries

1 egg

3/4 c milk

2 T sour cream

2 1/4 oz unsalted butter, melted

1. Preheat oven to 415 F. Lightly grease a 12-hole standard muffin pan or line with paper liners.

2. Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar and a pinch of salt into a bowl. Add the strawberries and toss well. make a we; in the center of the bowl.

3. Combine the egg, milk, and sour cream and pour into the dry mixture. Pour all the melted butter into the bowl at once, and stir lightly until just combined. Do not overbeat - the batter will be slight lumpy.

4. Divide the batter evenly in the pans - fill each cup about 3/4 full. Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden and a skewer inserted into the center of the muffin comes out clean. Let cool for about 5 minutes in pan, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes about 10-12 muffins.

I'm excited that this "detail" can be knocked off the list. Mary sent me a list of supplies and ingredients which I'll have FMIL Joey shop for when she's here.

What ceremony details did you take care of at the last minute?

Sorry Father, You'll Have to Hurry It Up!

I freaked out about this before, but I'm freaking out (slightly again). Our wedding is during a very busy weekend in Seattle, Seafair. I have NO IDEA why I didn't check the date of Seafair when we booked the Lake Union Cafe. It's probably the reason our date was the last available date this summer when we were looking 14 months ago.

So the big deal about Seafair is the whole bridge closure thing. Our ceremony is on the east side of Lake Washington (20-25 minutes from the actual bridge) and our reception is on the west side of the bridge.

Months ago and I asked Mr. Joey if we should consider getting married somewhere else. Yes, the invitations had been sent out, and yes, it was pretty unlikely we'd find a church at the last minute, but I was willing to try. He said we'd be fine. I had emailed the Washington State Department of Transportation (WDOT) 11 months ago to find out what time the bridge closed on wedding Saturday and they said 12:45pm. We're getting married at 10am and hoping everyone will be on the road by 11:10am. Mr. Joey talked me off the ceremony edge and I all seemed well.

Then this week a friend sent me a note saying the bridge was going to close at 11am. WHAT!!!!!!!!! I frantically emailed the guy at WDOT again to confirm the time of the bridge closure and he said 12:45pm and sent me a link to the event's website. That should have satisfied me but it only made me more confused. See Below

"The listed times are for mainline I-90 closures. Drivers are reminded that the Center Roadway will close up to two hours before the times indicated. The following ramps can be expected to close 30 minutes prior to posted closures depending on congestion: East Mercer Way to West I-90, 76th Ave. SE to West I-90, West Mercer Way to West I-90 and East I-90 to West Mercer Way.

Thursday, July 30, 2009(Two separate bridge closures, during which pilots will practice maneuvers and become familiar with area geography)First Closure: 9:45 a.m.-12:00 p.m.Second Closure: 1:15 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

Friday, July 31- 12:45 p.m. – 2:40 p.m. (practice show)Saturday, August 1- 12:45 p.m. – 2:40 p.m. (full show)Sunday, August 2- 12:45 p.m. – 2:40 p.m. (full show)
Drivers who want to ensure they can cross the lake using I-90 should drive across Lake Washington at least one hour before the announced closure times. No stopping or parking is allowed on the floating bridges."

I first read this and thought, 'OK, was long as everyone is over the bridge by 11:45 am, we'll be fine.' But then I read it closer and freaked out. It was this line that got me, "The listed times are for mainline I-90 closures. Drivers are reminded that the Center Roadway will close up to two hours before the times indicated. " Hello? Does that mean the bridges close at 10:45am? If so, we have a MAJOR problem! I was told the Center Roadway means the actual bridge. I've sent WDOT another email to hopefully get all my facts straight.

I have no idea what we're going to do if the bridge closes at 10:45am. The ceremony starts at 10am and we'd all have to be on the road by 10:20 to be safe. Our ceremony is short, but it isn't that short. I'm crossing my fingers that the WDOT site isn't clear and that the bridge really does close at 11:45am. If it doesn't, we may have a HUGE situation on our hands.

Anyone else have a big problem like this come up too close to the wedding day?

Reading Out Loud!

After my mini-ceremony tantrum, Mr. Joey and I sat down and selected readings for our ceremony. We each picked one and agreed on the the third. So here are our picks.

My pick: Reading 1

“Wherever you go, I shall go,
wherever you live, I shall live.
Your people will be my people,
and your God will be my God.
Where you die, I shall die and there I shall be buried.
Let Yahweh bring ills on me,
if anything but death should part me from you!” -- Ruth 1:16-17

Mr. Joey's pick: Reading 2

Strive for the greater gifts.
And I will show you a more excellent way.

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels,
but do not have love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith,
so as to remove mountains,
but do not have love,
I am nothing.

If I give away all my possessions,
and if I hand over my body to be burned,
but do not have love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient;
love is kind;
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing,
but rejoices in the truth.

It bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends. --1 Corinthians 12: 31-13: 8

Our Pick: Gospel

Jesus said to those around him:

“From the beginning of creation,
’God made them male and female.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother,
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.’

So they are no longer two,
but one flesh.
Therefore, what God has joined together,
let no one separate.” -- Mark 10: 6-9

So we finally picked out readings. My reading is actually a conversation between two cousin, but I liked it apart from the last line. Mr. Joey went for a very popular reading. We're not sure we're going use the entire text above. We're still checking on that.

Did you pick your ceremony readings together or did each of you select one?

Ceremony Optional

Over the weekend I had a mini blow up at Mr. Joey over the ceremony. I was looking at readings for the wedding when he whined about how long the ceremony was going to be. This isn't the first time he's made these comments and he isn't the only one to make them. As usual, I was prepared to just bit my tongue and pretend I didn't hear the comments. Of course he notice my silence and asked me what was wrong and of course I told him.

At first I too was a little annoyed with the number of elements in our Catholic blessing. It seemed longer than we wanted it to be and there was little flexibility within each component but I've accepted that. We decided together that we were going to get married in the church for our parents and this is part of it. I've done my best to try and find readings that reflect our love for each other and tried to add cultural elements to the ceremony. In the end, I'm OK that the ceremony is going to be 45 minutes to an hour. This is the most important part of getting married -- the part where you promise to be together forever. I don't feel like 45 minutes is too long to devote to that.

I told Mr. Joey if he really was unhappy with the length or the blessing in general, that he could arrange for an alternate location for the ceremony and let everyone (particularly our parents) know there is change and I'd be fine with it. I would not continue to plan the ceremony if he was going to pout about it's length or content. I cannot change the Catholic Church but we can change whether that's where we cerebrated our marriage. It sounds a little Bridezillia-ish but I can't continue to plan what I see is the most important aspect of our wedding day if he wasn't fully on board. Pouting and complaining isn't fully on board.

Mr. Joey came around fast. He apologized and said he didn't realize he was upsetting me when he complained. He also agreed that 45 minutes isn't too long for the ceremony. He came around quickly but others might not. I have had more than one person complain to me about the length of our ceremony. I know Catholicism isn't for everyone, and I'm not asking people to convert or anything, but I am asking that if they attend, they don't complain about how board they are or how long it was. My sister had a courthouse wedding and it took ten minutes. And that was just a courthouse wedding. I really want to tell my ceremony complainers to bite me. Just kidding. :) I was just making sure you were still with me. Seriously, I want to tell them to not come to the ceremony. I mean that in the nicest possible way. I won't be offended if they only show up at the reception. The drive to the chapel is long and if they think a Catholic ceremony is too much for them, then I am happy to celebrate with them later at the reception. No hurt feelings here.

Actually, that was going to be our original plan. We were going to have a tiny ceremony (immediate family only) on a Friday afternoon and then have a huge party the next day -- something a little more casual. We thought about a huge BBQ (or taco truck) with friendor bands and partying all day long. Our main reason for doing an immediate family only ceremony was because of a wedding we attended a few years back.

We went to a ceremony that was pretty long. It wasn't religious per se, but it had a lot of elements and symbolism from different religions. It was a lovely ceremony and one of the more unique I've seen but all anyone at our reception table could do was whine about it's length. When it came time to discuss our ceremony, Mr. Joey and I both remembered that wedding and opted leave everyone else out of the ceremony. But then of course the same people who whined about sitting through the long ceremony whined (in a friendly way) that would really like to be present at ours. And my extended family were a little offended that we'd even think of not including them. So we opened the ceremony up to everyone.

So now here we are again dealing with the ceremony whiners. What would you do if you were in my place. Would you tell people honestly that they don't have to attend the ceremony? Does that seem to harsh?

Vacation from the Wedding - part 1

Our good friends Dani and Jer got married over the weekend in at the beautiful Darlington House in La Jolla San Diego. It was the best wedding I've been to. I had a great time and Mr. Joey even danced!!

The funny thing about attending someone's wedding while you planning your own, is that your mind races with every new and interesting detail you see. First, the ceremony. They were married by a friend and had a non-religious ceremony. They also broke the ceremony up into sections:

Welcome and Meaning of Marriage

Reading 1

Vows and Exchange of Rings

Reading 2

Sand Ceremony

Reading 3

Closing Words and Intrduction of New Couple

I really like the flow of the wedding. It looked like it would be long, but it wasn't, or it didn't feel that way. They did something interesting called the Sand Ceremony. Each person had a container of sand representing their individual life and together they poured them into a new container symbolizing the grains of ther lives coming together. I thought it was a great personal touch.

image: Leslie Spero

The readings were also great too. The first was from the movie, When Harry Met Sally, and the second was the poem Hug-O-War by Shel Silverstien and the third was an excerpt from the The Velveteen Rabbit.

I SO want to do something similar but it isn't really permitted in the ceremony. Oh, well…

The silver lining in all this is that watching Dani and Jer share their vows made Mr. Joey think about what it's going to be like for us. Mr. Joey was hesitant about having a Catholic blessing but agreed to it. After our last meeting with the officiant, he officially checked out of the ceremony planning. All the rules and regulations and limited flexibility in the ceremony was too much for him. I set about collecting readings and gospels for him to look at but he ultimately said whatever I wanted was fine. I wasn't happy with the answer but I was OK with it. Then something happened to Mr. Joey during the ceremony and suddenly he had all sorts of ideas.

For Example:

Doing the first and second readings in Sinhalese (Sri-Lankan Language) and Tagalog (the Filipino language my family speaks) with English translations in the program. He said he thought it would be something nice for my parents, particularly my Dad. Seriously? I almost started to cry. Mr. Joey isn't really the sentimental type so this was a big gesture.

Adding a third reading. Something we both love. I really love Mrs. Kitten's idea about using, Oh, the Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss. It could work. The readings we're thinking about from the bible are super short. Maybe if we did an excerpt, we could fit something else in.

The bride's processional. He said that if I didn't mind, he wanted to come up with something special that would be a surprise. Again, Seriously? Are you sure you're Mr. Joey?

Did you FI suddenly get interested in an aspect of the planning that he previously ignored? What made him do so?

Ceremony Housekeeping...

Over the weekend Mr. Joey and I met with the priest who is marrying us and the chapel's wedding coordinator. We weren't looking forward to this meeting at all. We knew there were a few housekeeping issues that needed to be taken care of.

When we first asked about getting married at the chapel, we were told its use would be free to us because Mr. Joey is a teacher at the school. When we finally met with the school's priest, he mentioned that the fee was now $500. Hmm. I should have said something then but Mr. Joey said to wait and he'd check it out.

Using the chapel for free was probably the number one reason we decided to hold the ceremony there. The chapel is out of the way and not really convenient unless you live east of Seattle. When the other teachers at school heard about the fee, well, let's day they we're less than happy. They had also been told it would be free. I don't think anyone else is thinking of using it, but I think they like knowing they had that free option. Many teachers and staff lobbied on our behalf and because of that (thanks guys!) we were told the administration would review the fee and we'd find out what it would really be during this housekeeping meeting. Oh great, confrontation with a priest.

The meeting went OK. There were some highlights and some lowlights.

The good news is that we don't have to pay the $500 fee. We're getting it for $250. I'm totally OK with the $250 because I know all the money is going to the chapel coordinator. She's so nice! She was happy to hear we'd be pretty low maintenance and I was happy to hear she was super flexible should anything change. Now we can use the $250 in savings to pay for the required pre-cana classes. It looks like we'll be spending $200 on those, so I guess the in total we're saving $50? Not bad.

Our second piece of good news is that we can arrange the seating in the chapel any way we want. I know right? When can you do that inside a church? The seats are movable and so is the alter. All we have to do is draw up our plans and Geri will arrange to have things moved. I can't wait to play around with this.

The other piece of happy news is that we will be able to set up a mini breakfast bar outside the chapel. The school is less than a year old, so they are super strict about food and drink inside. Because we're having the wedding early and having all pictures done before 10am, we wanted to set up a breakfast bar for people to enjoy. I haven't mentioned to much about it yet because I wasn't sure the school would OK. But they say it will be fine as long as it's set up at the bottom of the stairs or in the teachers lounge. Works for me.

I don't think we got bad news as much as we got a nice good slap of reality. We're doing a Catholic blessing. We originally wanted to do an non-denominational ceremony but both Mama Joey and FMIL Joey asked that we be married in a Catholic. FMIL Joey has been super great about supporting what ever we want, so we felt like we could do this for her. So, blessing it is. For some reason, we thought a blessing would be the Rite of Marriage followed by a blessing and then we'd all peace out. Um, nope. It's the full mass without communion. Mr. Joey was not happy about this.

Now we need to think about scripture readings, gospels and psalms. We hadn't realized this because in our first meeting, we were told a blessing would take no more than 30 minutes. We weren't provided with any materials about Catholic ceremonies at that time because the school didn't have any. We are the first couple to officially be married in the chapel. I probably should have done some research myself. Doh! So now we're going to get our scripture on. Non-scripture passages cannot replace the two required scripture readings but can be read in addition to them. So that means no non-scripture passages. We've got to be out of there because of the hyrdo races and blue angels. Remember? I freaked out about them.

We also learned that we can't have aisle runner and that we have to use musical selections from their list. I told Mr. Joey to push the list. He's picked out music and I think they are totally appropriate for church ceremony. Definitely more so than Endless Love which is on the list. I think if Geri and Father hear the selections, they'd be fine with it.

So, the meeting wasn't all bad but it wasn't all great. We have a little more work to do, a little less freedom and $50 extra to play with, but I guess that's the way it goes. Did you get any surprises (good or bad) from your church or officiate late in the game? What were they and how did you adjust.

P.S.
If anyone in the Seattle area took a pre-cana or other marriage prep course they really liked, will you shoot me a note or mention it below. Since the chapel doesn't offer marriage prep, we have to get it done elsewhere.

Bring on the Madness!

Since the "madness" will soon be upon us, I thought I'd share with everyone a few of the Joey traditions. Our first tradition has of course to do with the NCAA men's tournament. Every year we put together a bracket, invite our friends to play with us and always, ALWAYS watch the final game together. If we're not in the same city, we still both watch and text or IM back and forth. I don't know how or why it is a tradition but it is. I look forward to putting together my bracket pick every year. Go Huskies!! (Sorry Pengy, I know you're a Bruin).

Our next tradition is the Annual Joey End of the Summer Bash. Since Mr. Joey is a teacher, we always end the summer with a party. We supply a half keg and mixers, and friends bring whatever else they want to drink. Sometimes we open up the grill so guest can BYO BBQ. It's a great time. Not stressful at all and cheap to throw. Summers are crazy and we always feel like we miss out on seeing everyone. I can't wait to have our End of Summer Bash also be our housewarming party. Our house building is right on schedule!

Our yummiest tradition has to be Thanksgiving. Every year we prepare a themed thanksgiving meal. The first year we made all the traditional dishes, the second year we had Chesapeake inspired dishes (Virginia spoon bread, Old Bay Turkey), the third year we did Hawaiian food (Kalua turkey, spam fried rice) and last year we had New Orleans on the table. Hawaiian was the easiest and the tastiest but they were all really great. This year we're thinking Chinese or New Mexican. Thanksgiving is my favorite of "our" traditions.

Our last tradition is around Christmas. Every time we go on a trip together, we always buy a Christmas ornament from the city we visited. We have a great one from New Orleans of the Crayfish playing the double bass. I was on Etsy one day (of course) and came across the custom ring bowls by Paloma's Nest. It's a little more than I wanted to spend on a ring pillow/bowl (like $20 more) but the more I thought about it, the more I realized what bigger journey are we going to go on than marriage? It won't always feel like a vacation but I certainly hope it will be filled with many of them.

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Mr. Joey liked the idea of the bowl doubling as our first ornament as a married couple, so I ordered it. We went with just our first names and the date.

What traditions have you developed as a couple? Are you incorporating any of them into the wedding?