We're Getting Hitched Tomorrow!

Ah, my last post as an unmarried bee. I had to write it today since we start really early tomorrow (before 7am!).

I have to say, I (or we) didn't think we'd make it to this day. The last few months and particularly, this last week has been filled with more drama and madness than we thought we could survive. And here we are, almost at the finish line.

I can't tell everyone how much Weddingbee has meant to me through this planning process. Besides a few out-of-state friends and Mr. Joey (mostly in the last 8 weeks), I've been largely alone in the planning process. No one understood why I was DIYing so much, and it was hard to find anyone who understood our vision or look for the wedding until I found the Hive. It was like having a 1000 friends to bounce ideas off and help with the wedding. For I will always be grateful to you all.

And for Mr. Joey, I have a little antidote.

A few times a week when I'm waiting for my bus on 1st and Jackson, I see this elderly couple. As soon as I spot them in the distance, my mood immediately changes and I can't help but smile. Every time I see this couple (at least in their 80's) strolling down the street, they are walking hand in hand and smiling. It's like it's been this way for the last 60 years, just the two of them. They looks so happy, like they have been walking this way forever. Like they walked this way through good times and bad, but always survived because they were together. Usually they are oblivious to the world around them, but every so often the wife will catch me smiling and staring at them and give me this look that says, "this will be you too and when it is, it will be wonderful." I'm not the only person who stops and watches them as they pass. Even the sourest sourpuss smiles when they walk by.

Mister, I can't wait for that, to be that couple. I can't wait to spend the next 60 years (and more) with you walking hand in hand. It's going to be filled with laughter and tears, but it's going to be great because we're also in this together.

So everyone, I'll see you on the flip side!

Happily, for the last time,

Miss Joey

Details, Details -- the Goodwill Makeover

For the most part, I'd say we're pretty much done with all our wedding tasks except the flowers, delivering things to venues and a few minor details.

Over the last few months, I've been picking up random silver platters and picture frames at Goodwill with no real idea of how to use them. We're doing a modern-vintage wedding, so I figured I could use these pieces somewhere.

I finally found a place for them in our wedding. Behold...

I painted the silver trays and old picture frames yellow and grey, then put scrap fabric and paper on top of them. We're going to use them on our breakfast bar.

I'm using one of the small spare trays for the "guestbook" station. I covered an old drinking glass with some scrap fabric from the ring bearers tie and added an extra pom to finish the look.

Lastly, I had Mr. Joey spray paint a few bigger frames which I used as the seating chart. Again, I covered the back with scrap fabric and the the yellow paper is actually file folders I found in the recycling bin at work. The were the perfect color and they were free, so I thought why not.

I think all together, I spent about $8-10 on the trays, $1 on the large seating chart frame and$3 on the fancy Japanese black and white paper. I had the spray paint, fabric and tissue paper leftover from other projects. The other frames I got from friends. They were going to throw them out, so I rescued them.

Did you give any throw aways new life and use them in your wedding?

Shower Teaser

Since the Joey wedding is 5 days away (!!!!!!!), I don't think I'll be able to get pictures up of my AWESOME shower until I get back from the honeymoon. Just to give you a taste of the fun and creativity present, I want to share with you a picture of one of my gifts. Be ready to be impressed.

Yes, it's a cake made out of towels. My friend Felicitas usually makes this gift out of diapers and baby bottles for baby showers but adjusted the materials for my wedding shower. Awesome right?

It looked better before I have to transport it home. It fell over in my backseat. What was the most creative gift you got for your wedding or shower?

Details, Details -- the Honeymoon

Even though we're not done with the wedding madness, I've already started prepping for the honeymoon. We got all the big plans out of the way like hotels and transportation, it's just all the little details like packing we need to do.

I'm a pretty experienced traveller but this trip is going to test my packing skills. We've got all sorts of packing requirements. We need clothes for spring weather (cool temps) and clothes for summer. We need to be able to go from beach bum to opera goer but still fit everything into fairly small bags since we're going on planes, trains and a boat (oh my!). Plus, we need to be able to pack enough reading and listening materials to at least get us to Australia.

I've got the reading and listening materials covered. I've been saving magazines for weeks and picking up books at Goodwill. We also have plenty to listen to thanks to everyone's suggestions. I'm still working on the clothes part. Every time I think of a versatile outfit I can bring with me, I jot it down on a notebook I carry around. I also jot down all the random things we'll need that I may forget in the heat of packing like my reading glasses, lip balm and a reusable shopping bag.

The besides the reading materials, I've been gathering up all the essentials I'll need for the flight. My favorite new find are the travel packets from La Fresh. They make travel wipe size everything - deodorant, hydrating lotion wipe, DEET-FREE Insect Repellent wipe, etc.

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I ordered the sampler pack for my last trip to Ethiopia and really liked what I used. They were easier to travel with (no special plastic bag or bottle), I could dispose of what I used instead of carrying around an empty bottle, and they didn't take up any room in my already full carry-on.

I also always bring my own blanket on board the flight (who knows what lives on airplane blankets) and I always bring a snack. Sometimes I just can stomach airline food. My Luna bar usually sounds more appealing.

What are your must have travel items?

The Pom Queen

It was Pom night at the Joey household yesterday. There was fluffing. There were decorations. There was dancing.

We finished all the poms. These are just the ones we did last night.

We even got the little poms done for he flower girl to toss down the aisle.



I love that this last minute idea actually worked out and proved to be pretty painless. I've had a lot of last minute ideas I didn't act on but wish I had the time to complete. Did you have any last minute projects that did make it into the wedding?

Down to Single Digits

That's right friends, we're down to single digits.

It's starting to feel real. My sister (Joey MOH) arrived yesterday and I feel like that was the official start of the wedding countdown. She's the first of the wedding party/guests to arrive and today FMIL Joey will be here.

I am SO glad Sister Joey is here; 1. because I missed her and 2. because she can manage all the last minutes details I don't have the capacity for. Like for example, where am I going to stay the night before the wedding and what is our wedding car going to be?

I was going to stay at my parents house but they now have 8 out of town guests staying at their house. That feels like too much madness and not enough hot water for me. Mama Joey is upset that I'm considering not staying there and possibly staying at my apartment the night of the wedding. She says it's tradition to stay at your parents house the night before the wedding and I say it's a logistical nightmare. I do not have the energy to fight this out with her so I'm leaving MOH/Sister Joey to figure this out.

Where are you staying the night before the wedding? Did anyone spend it with their FI?

Details, Details -- A Last Minute Idea

Yes, I have one. I know I shouldn't but I think this one will be OK. It may turn out to be less work than the first idea.

So way back when, our ceremony coordinator said the flower girl couldn't throw/drop fresh or dried flowers as she walked in. I was comteplating buying a bag of fake rose petals from Michael's but it just didn't feel like something that went with the style of our wedding. I then had this brilliant idea to make flowers out of the scraps of fabric we used for the table runners. It would tie together the reception and ceremony nicely.

Well, time has passed and I still haven't started on those flowers. I thought about having FMIL Joey take them on, but it may be too time intensive.

Guess What? I have a new plan. What if we made little poms? We're using them to give texture to our centerpieces already. I think they'd be cute, easy to clean up, and brighten the aisle. :) I was thinking a little smaller than small, that way she could fit 6 or 7 in her little basket.

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I also thought about making paper flowers.

I like the pom idea, but what do you ladies think? Fabric flowers, paper flowers or mini poms?

Details, Details -- the Ceremony

The wedding planning is winding down though the wedding crafting feels like it will never end. We just finished the programs and finalized centerpieces, but we still have a lot of cutting, pasting and assembling to do. I just finished the signs fold the wedding party's seats during the ceremony and we met with our awesome photographer over the weekend so he could explore the chapel and the rest of the school.

FMIL Joey is arriving 9 days early to help with the wedding and I can't wait to have her. She's volunteered to do any last minute crafting and I'm definitely taking advantage of that. She's going to make the ring bearer's tie and sew the little bags for our Arrhae tradition. I might need her to sew one more table runner for the breakfast at the Chapel.

Speaking of the breakfast, we finally nailed down the menu and our AMAZING baking friendor Mary has been testing away in her kitchen.

Here's the final menu:
Orange-Poppy Seed Muffins
Strawberry Muffins (Thanks for the suggestion Stiletto!)
Applesauce Bread
Maple Bacon and Cheddar Scones
Chocolate Chip Scones
Blueberry Scones
Veggie Sausage and Cheddar Roll-ups

Yum! Yum! Yum!

Check out the pictures of some of the finished products. Are you hungry yet?

Mary even sent along the recipe for the Strawberry Muffin for me to share with everyone.

Strawberry Muffins

1 3/4 c Self raising flour (To make self-raising flour combine 2 tsp baking powder and 1 cup flour)

1 tsp (additional) baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 sugar

1 cup chopped strawberries

1 egg

3/4 c milk

2 T sour cream

2 1/4 oz unsalted butter, melted

1. Preheat oven to 415 F. Lightly grease a 12-hole standard muffin pan or line with paper liners.

2. Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar and a pinch of salt into a bowl. Add the strawberries and toss well. make a we; in the center of the bowl.

3. Combine the egg, milk, and sour cream and pour into the dry mixture. Pour all the melted butter into the bowl at once, and stir lightly until just combined. Do not overbeat - the batter will be slight lumpy.

4. Divide the batter evenly in the pans - fill each cup about 3/4 full. Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden and a skewer inserted into the center of the muffin comes out clean. Let cool for about 5 minutes in pan, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes about 10-12 muffins.

I'm excited that this "detail" can be knocked off the list. Mary sent me a list of supplies and ingredients which I'll have FMIL Joey shop for when she's here.

What ceremony details did you take care of at the last minute?

And We're Done...

...with the programs!

The Front

the inside

the back

We used double stick tape to put the invites together and rounded the corners to give them a more finished look. To make it more personal, we each signed the back of every single program.

How did you give you programs that personal touch?

The Debbie Downer Post

I'm feeling it. The pressure. The exhaustion. The regret. We're less than 2 weeks out and I'm tired and feel like I'm missing a million details. My lists are getting shorter, slowly, but not without a few projects tossed out due too fatigue or just lack of time.

I keep telling myself I can do it, but sometimes I really wonder if I'll get to that summery Saturday in August in one piece. Mr. Joey has been trying to calm me down and tell me that we'll survive this and while it helps, it doesn't help much.

I don't want to "survive," I want to enjoy the last few days. I want to wish they would never end and not count the hours until they are over. I feel like we have so much on our plate and no one understands that but me. In a span of a week, I have my shower, bachelorette, rehearsal dinner, wedding, after party and day after lunch.

Here's an example of people not understanding. My parents planned on throwing a small lunch the day after the wedding. It was suppose to be a 20 people, mostly the folks in the wedding party and a few close friends. The told me on Tuesday that they would now like me to make 25 invitations and have the designed, cut and ready by Thursday. I told them the people coming to lunch didn't need invitations and they told me these were for the other guests. The other guests? They are now inviting people (about 50), most of whom they didn't invite to the wedding.

I tried to talk them out of it but they aren't hearing it. I tried to convince them to postpone the party a few weeks but they weren't interested in that either. I tried to explain I was REALLY busy this week getting other wedding stuff together and they asked me why I waited until the last minute to check these tasks off my list. I didn't have the energy to fight with them so I did it. It took hours and I didn't get my other real wedding tasks done this week, but they have invitations.

I secretly wish I had done what my sister (and Ms. Mary Jane) did and had a courthouse wedding followed by a small lunch and then later, much later, had a huge informal BBQ or something at our new house. But my other secret, I hope I don't feel that way on my wedding day.

Anyone else feeling this way? How are all you other August brides holding it together?

Sorry Father, You'll Have to Hurry It Up!

I freaked out about this before, but I'm freaking out (slightly again). Our wedding is during a very busy weekend in Seattle, Seafair. I have NO IDEA why I didn't check the date of Seafair when we booked the Lake Union Cafe. It's probably the reason our date was the last available date this summer when we were looking 14 months ago.

So the big deal about Seafair is the whole bridge closure thing. Our ceremony is on the east side of Lake Washington (20-25 minutes from the actual bridge) and our reception is on the west side of the bridge.

Months ago and I asked Mr. Joey if we should consider getting married somewhere else. Yes, the invitations had been sent out, and yes, it was pretty unlikely we'd find a church at the last minute, but I was willing to try. He said we'd be fine. I had emailed the Washington State Department of Transportation (WDOT) 11 months ago to find out what time the bridge closed on wedding Saturday and they said 12:45pm. We're getting married at 10am and hoping everyone will be on the road by 11:10am. Mr. Joey talked me off the ceremony edge and I all seemed well.

Then this week a friend sent me a note saying the bridge was going to close at 11am. WHAT!!!!!!!!! I frantically emailed the guy at WDOT again to confirm the time of the bridge closure and he said 12:45pm and sent me a link to the event's website. That should have satisfied me but it only made me more confused. See Below

"The listed times are for mainline I-90 closures. Drivers are reminded that the Center Roadway will close up to two hours before the times indicated. The following ramps can be expected to close 30 minutes prior to posted closures depending on congestion: East Mercer Way to West I-90, 76th Ave. SE to West I-90, West Mercer Way to West I-90 and East I-90 to West Mercer Way.

Thursday, July 30, 2009(Two separate bridge closures, during which pilots will practice maneuvers and become familiar with area geography)First Closure: 9:45 a.m.-12:00 p.m.Second Closure: 1:15 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

Friday, July 31- 12:45 p.m. – 2:40 p.m. (practice show)Saturday, August 1- 12:45 p.m. – 2:40 p.m. (full show)Sunday, August 2- 12:45 p.m. – 2:40 p.m. (full show)
Drivers who want to ensure they can cross the lake using I-90 should drive across Lake Washington at least one hour before the announced closure times. No stopping or parking is allowed on the floating bridges."

I first read this and thought, 'OK, was long as everyone is over the bridge by 11:45 am, we'll be fine.' But then I read it closer and freaked out. It was this line that got me, "The listed times are for mainline I-90 closures. Drivers are reminded that the Center Roadway will close up to two hours before the times indicated. " Hello? Does that mean the bridges close at 10:45am? If so, we have a MAJOR problem! I was told the Center Roadway means the actual bridge. I've sent WDOT another email to hopefully get all my facts straight.

I have no idea what we're going to do if the bridge closes at 10:45am. The ceremony starts at 10am and we'd all have to be on the road by 10:20 to be safe. Our ceremony is short, but it isn't that short. I'm crossing my fingers that the WDOT site isn't clear and that the bridge really does close at 11:45am. If it doesn't, we may have a HUGE situation on our hands.

Anyone else have a big problem like this come up too close to the wedding day?

Must Have Photos

I've been thinking about our must have photos for a LONG time. Actually, it all started with a post from Ms. Mascara featuring this picture:

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Mr. Joey is a teacher and we're getting married at the chapel at his school. We talked about doing a shot where the bridal party is in "class" and he's teaching. I also thought about making a dunce cap so one of us could wear it and sit in the corner. :)

Then Ms. Piglet, posted about the ties and shoes shots and I remembered we want those too particularly since my shoes are nice and bright and we finally found some socks for Mr. Joey. I love this shot.

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Besides the shots above, we were having a hard time coming up with a list images when I came across a Real Simple must have photo checklist. Score!

It had all the basics and a few more we hadn't thought of. I went through the list and got rid of a few suggestions and then added my own. Since I have a costume change at the ceremony, I'd really love some shots of me trying to get into my sari. I'd also love a shot of the sari fabric.

If we have time after the ceremony, I'd love a huge group shot with all our guests at the chapel.

We're still trying to come up with a few must have shots that are a little more interesting than the typical ones listed by Real Simple.

What are your must have shots?

That's It, We're Doing It!

For months, Mr. Joey and I have been going back and forth about whether to do the money dance. On the one hand, it's tradition and it's a tradition around luck. I am all about traditions around luck. I put money in all my pockets on New Years Eve and Mr. Joey always serves up Hoppin' John on New Years Day. I also knock on wood a lot. My Mom has been pushing the money dance because she says it lucky and also because she thinks our family will miss it if we don't do it.

On the other hand, dancing for money? A little tacky maybe? And what about all the people who aren't Filipino? We'd have to explain it and it might be weird. What if only my family participates?

Hmm. I thought about making it less tacky by giving donating part of the money from our money dance to a charity. But then which charity?

And donating didn't eliminate my concerns about whether anyone would enjoy the money dance. Mr. Joey isn't a dancer, but he said he was up for the money dance. That still wasn't enough though.

Then I stumbled upon a post by a blogger we Weddingbee readers once had the privilege of hearing from.

When I saw the "sweet" pictures and saw how much fun everyone was having during the money dance, I knew it was for us. Money Dance, here we come!

Anyone else doing a money dance?

Do and Redo

A few weeks ago, I finished our seating charts. We had all the RSVPs in and I really wanted to get this task out of the way. It took a little while, but I finished it and was actually proud of some of the table assignments I put together.

A week later, there was a change. Our friends broke-up and this meant either I need to move someone to another table, or we'd have one less guest at the wedding. Since it was just one minor change, I decided to sit on changing the tables until the broken-up couple told me for sure what was going on.

Fast forward 2 more weeks and I suddenly have another change. My very first RSVPer can't make it to the wedding. That's 2 more spots to account for. Actually, the absence of these 2 people throw off the entire dynamic of the table. I may have to rethink the table.

Looking back, I can't decided whether I should have wanted until the last minute to do the table assignments or if was a good thing I did them. Hopefully, the changes won't take me very long to sort out.

Did you have an wedding tasks you completed but had to redo a few times during the planning process?

What to Do About Thank Yous?

I have our thank you notes for the wedding already printed and stamped, so cute thank notes to send aren't my problem. I'm having a problem deciding whether to send seperate shower thank yous.

Under normal circumstances, I'd send a seperate shower thank you but you see, my bridal shower is 6 days before our wedding. Two notes in one week? It seems a little weird but then maybe that's what you're suppose to do.

Mr. Joey and I were talking it over last night and he suggested a seperate thank you note if the shower gift is something just for me (PJs, bath stuff) and a merged thank you note if the gift was purchased off our registries.

What do you think? Seperate thank you notes no matter what or seperate thank you notes only if the gift is something for me only?

Cuts Like a Knife - the programs

or a paper cutter.

Is everyone liking the programs - song lyrics series I've got going on here?

Where did we leave off? Right? The outsides

We decided on programs a la the Cupcakes, but we changed them to fit our design style and DIY abilities.

We had 3 or 4 sheets (I can't remember now) of the 22 x 30 Canson Edition Paper from our invites. I love this paper. The color is a cool grey and the texture is great. I cut those 20 x 30 inch sheets down to a huge pile of 3.5 x 4.5 inch mini covers. It was no easy task! I had to cut them in half, and then half again and then down to size. I wish I had pictures of the process for you.

Instead of printing on the cover, I decided to make a half belly band to put on the front. I say half because it's not on the back in the same way.

I printed about 15 of these onto 65lb white paper and cut them down to size. This took awhile but luckily we had season 1 of the West Wing on DVD to pass the time.

Once I had the front and back (that's coming later) bands done, I handed the paper cutter off to Mr. Joey to finish up the inside part.

When I knew there was a lot of paper cutting to be done for our various DIY projects, I used a Christmas gift card to buy the X-Acto 12" Laser Paper Trimmer. Mrs. Daffodil liked it so much that the queen of DIY gadgets, Mrs. Penguin, wanted one. I'm so glad I bought this thing. My complaints are very minor (I wish it was bigger) but my appreciation for it is HUGE!

What DIY tool really saved time and you DIY sanity?

Know When to Fold'em - the programs

After deciding on the content and inside design of our programs (Pengy, can you link the post More than Words?), we decided the best style for the programs was something similar to the Cupcakes' accordion fold pocket programs.

Since we only had 4 pages of content, we went with legal size paper and printed 2 programs on each sheet.

Step 1

I folded the sheet of paper in half lengthwise. It makes it easier to cut.

Step 2

I measured the width of the folded sheet and calculated the center line. I then flipped it so I could cut along the center line. I made marks on my paper cutter so I could easily line the edge of the program up to the right guideline.

Step 3

I opened the newly halved program and refolded it in half so the words were on the outside. Then I folded the edges of each side to the middle fold. Repeat on the other side.

Done. Now the the outside and attaching the inside to the outside.

Early on, I thought about doing really simple (no work) programs. Maybe a nice design on a single sheet of paper and then rolled up and tied with a bow. Then I decided some part of the ceremony should get some DIY attention. It felt like all the work was going into the reception even though the ceremony is the more important part of the day.

Did you go with easy programs or did you decided to go all out on them?

More Than Words - the programs

Anyone got that song stuck in their head?

Anywho, I started formulating the content of our programs a few months ago, before I even knew what the actual program would look like. We were told we had to get the content of our programs OK'd by the ceremony coordinator (a.k.a. Mr. Joey's school secretary). I wanted to get her the content before school was out because it's easier for Mr. Joey to stop by the office and talk to her in person if there are any problems than it would be to go back and forth over email.


I guess I didn't need to rush because she said it all looked great and there were not problems.


First to decide on was how to organize the information. After playing around a bit, I came up with this template.



I liked the design OK but wasn't sure I had covered all my Catholic bases. I then went to Catholic Wedding Help to find examples of programs for Catholic Blessings. There definitely seemed to be a prescription to Catholic programs, but nothing I couldn't work with.

I played around with designs and finally came up with this.

I separated those who were in the wedding party from those who had a role in the ceremony/reception. I also added a little info about our cultural traditions. The only thing I really wish I had added was our baker/friendor Mary who is making all the breakfast treats. she definitely deserves to be mentioned.

I really wanted to make our program look like this to match our invites but Mr. Joey wanted something a little more traditional and we weren't sure it would fly with the ceremony coordinator.

Did you have a program template you were asked to follow or did you get to develop your own?

A Minor Decision

I have a minor decision to make that I can't stop thinking about. I have a few weeks to think it over and I can promise you I'm not dwelling over this decision day and night. I think about my decision randomly (while at the grocery store or on the bus) and then move on after a few minutes.

What's my decision? Don't laugh, it's what color nail polish to wear on my fingers and toes. I know, I know. We have 18 days and lots to do and I'm worried about nail polish? I don't know what to say. For some reason it's on my mind.

In the summer, I get a pedicure about once every 6-8 weeks. I change and maintain the color and length of my nails myself, it's more about the scrubs and filing and making sure my feet get a little attention. I walk a lot in the summer and my feet take a beating. Besides, I found a few places I like where I can get a mani/pedi for $25 total.

So I have a few decisions to make. First, will my fingers and toes be the same color? And second, what color or colors?

In the summer, I like the bright red ( OPI Vodka and Caviar) or a bright magenta (All that Razz-berry). In the fall and winter I go for the darker colors (Midnight in Moscow or Black Cherry Chutney). I mix in the nudes in the spring but most stick to the summer and winter palettes.

I feel pretty lucky because I can wear almost any color with my skin tone apart from browns.

So the question is whether to go with a bright or not. I like having something bright on my toes even if I'm not wearing anything on my fingers. My wedding shoes are bright yellow and some bright red polish would cute. It could also be too much.

And if I go with a bright color on my toes, should I go with a matching color on my hands? Sister Joey has always thought your fingers and toes should have the same nail polish color. I prefer the same color, but it isn't a deal breaker for me. I'd do two colors.

If I did two colors, I'd go for something a little less flashy like No Bees Please or Mimosas for Mr. and Mrs. Yes, there is the french tip option but I always find that style too had for me to maintain. We're honeymoon bound a few days after the wedding and I'd like the polish to survive the whole trip.

What do you think? Bright colors on toes and fingers? Brights on toes and neutral on fingers? Neutral on both?

image: from left to right No Bees Please, All that Razz-berry, Suzi says Da!, Vodka and Caviar and Mr. and Mrs. Mimosa.

Are Those Sea Urchins?

No, they aren't sea urchins. These are my attempt at making paper Pom-Poms. Making these suckers wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Come on, tissue paper and wire? I can do that. Nope.

Well, I can do that but they don't look as nice as the ready made ones you see on Etsy. My "petals" were wrinkled and my poms didn't look as round as Martha's.

Why the poms? Well, at first I thought about using 6-8 of them to give our chapel a little splash of color but as I was practicing by making small poms, I realized the poms would give my tables and centerpieces the texture I have been looking for.

I think I'm going to stay away from the pointy edged poms (a.k.a sea urchins) and stick with the round edged ones.

What DIY fooled you into thinking it was easy to execute?

Adding a Little Us to Traditional Customs

When Mr. Joey and I we talking about the ceremony way back when, I asked him if he was interested in incorporating a few Filipino traditions into the regular Catholic ceremony. He was game for it and was excited to spice things up a little. We checked with our priest and he said as long as they were cultural, a few added elements to the ceremony were OK.

I don't know if any of you have been to a Filipino wedding, but they have a lot going on. They are usually full masses, include multiple sets of marital godparents, a veil and cord ceremony, a candle ceremony and a few other elements. I won't go into detail but if you are interested, I found a blog that does a good job of summarizing the traditions.

We're not doing the veil and cord ceremony and while we did "select" godparents, we're not having them do all the things typical godparents do. They are going to serve as our witness. The traditions we did decide to incorporate into our ceremony are the Unity Candle and the Arrhae.

The Unity Candle has may different meanings, but the one of the more common ones is the uniting of two families. We really like this. We get along great with our families and they seem to get along well too. We like the idea of our families formally coming together. Usually 2 godparents (one from each family) each lights a taper candle and the bride and groom each take a lit candle and together light a larger candle - the unity candle. Instead of sponsors, we're changing it up and asking our Moms to light the taper candles. We think it's a nice way to include them in the ceremony.

The other tradition we're adding is the Arrhae. The arras (13 coins) dates back from the ancient Roman custom of breaking gold or silver into equal halves by both parties as a pledge of marriage. Traditionally, The groom giving the arras to his bride symbolizes him placing all his material wealth into her care. Acceptance by the bride means taking that trust unconditionally with total dedication.

Nowadays, the arrhae has come to represent more than just the groom telling the bride he'll take care of her financially. It affirms the vows of an enduring marriage and blesses the couple with an abundance of joy, health, wealth and happiness.

My Mom says traditionally the FMIL gives her son 13 coins in a decorative box or bag and he presents them to his bride during the ceremony. We decided to change that a little and have asked each Dad to present both of us a bag or box of 13 coins to exchange. We're equal in this marriage and we thought we should be equal in this tradition.

In the Philippines you can buy special coins with 13 marriage virtues (love, harmony, cooperation, commitment, peace, happiness, trust, respect, caring, wisdom, joy, wholeness and nurturing) engraved on them. We told our parents to just gather up 13 coins of any denomination and/or from any country.

We're really excited about our two "traditions." We think they make the ceremony a little more us.

Are you incorporating any cultural traditions into your ceremonies? Are you making them your own in any way?

Is That Wierd?

Some friends of ours were a little shocked to discover that with less than 25 days left, we've only received 4 wedding presents, only one of which was from the registry.

Is that weird? Our friends told us the presents started rolling in when they got to the 3 month mark. They literally were getting presents everyday. I think that was the case because they were getting married in San Diego but live in Seattle. They specifically asked guests (via their website) to mail gifts because they weren't sure how they'd get them up to Seattle.

About 75-80% of our guests live in Seattle. Why would they pay for shipping when they could run down to Crate and Barrel and save a little dough? On the other hand, we did register at Amazon.com so we could save people money on shipping.

I think another reason we're not getting gifts is because we don't have a wedding website. I'm not sure everyone knows where we're registered and I not really sure how I'd tell them. Plus, I think there are a lot of people (mostly my relatives) who are just giving us money.

Lucky for me, I haven't really noticed the lack of packages much. Early on, I stalked the registry but with so little time and so much to do, stalking the registry isn't on my list of things to do anymore. Registry stalking is now Mr. Joey's job. Now that he's out of school, he's home when the mail person comes by, and he has a lot of time to surf online and look at all the things we haven't received. Oh, how the tables have turned!

Did you receive a lot of wedding presents before you got married or did most people bring them to the wedding?

This is Really It - part 2

You know what has really made us feel like our lifetime commitment is official? No, it's not the marriage license or the engagement ring. It isn't the shared bank account or the new couch. It's building a house together.

Sometimes we think that building this house together is more a symbol of us joining together than the actual wedding. Building a house takes a lot of planning, sanity and trust in each other. It will be the place we celebrate all our greatest achievements, console each other after disappointments and enjoy all the times in between. If there was every a symbol of life together, we think this is it.

Since the whole house thing isn't exactly wedding related, we decided to start a blog, Forty Twenty Four, to document the process. The Joeys hope you'll check it out. Don't worry, I'll still share the major moments with you here like this one...



Our official celebration of the permit and breaking ground which happens this week!

Besides the actual wedding, what event or purchase has made you and your FI feel "official?"

Killing 3 Birds With One Stone - Table Numbers part 2

I've been working on the table numbers/menu/after party (which I'm calling thingies) for days. DAYS. You'd think it would be easy but it's not. Well, it's not hard but it is very time consuming. Because of the number and size of our tables, I needed about 40 table thingies done.

The cutting took hours and I watched all of the movie Milk and only got 17 thingies put together. I'm not even half way there.

I did learn a few things though. Even though the idea seemed simple, the execution took a long time (cutting and taping). I also learned that double-stick tape was my best bet. Glue made the edges look wrinkled even when it dried. I tried Elmer's white glue, glue stick and rubber cement but the pricier tape looked best.

I also played around a bit with the look. In my last post about the table thingies, I mentioned the numbers seemed to need something. I tried painting the edges with yellow paint and I tried creating a base with fimo clay.

I didn't like the paint. It made the edges wrinkled again it was time consuming. I liked the fimo OK but I'm not sure if it really adds much. What do you think? Fimo base or no fimo base?

Wedding Traditions: Something Blue

I've already shared my something old and my something borrowed, so now it's time for my something blue.

My something blue is the garter FMIL Joey wore at her wedding. Her Aunt made it for her. It's very simple and very light blue.


We weren't sure we were going to do a garter toss, but when FMIL gave me the blue garter, I knew we had to. She wasn't making us or anything. I knew we had to because it was the only heirloom or tradition we had from Mr. Joey's family and I really wanted to incorporate it into the wedding.

The garter needs a little work - the elastic needs replacing.

Mr. Joey and I were talking and we thought it would be fun to make the garter our own. We want to add a little something to it. We were thinking of either stitching our wedding date on to it or adding a flower to it. Then the next person who wears it can add their own history to it.

Are you adding anything to any wedding heirlooms you hope to pass along?

A One Ringed Wife

So after much consideration, I've decided to forgo the wedding ring. I've never been a ring girl. My fingers are short and rings just make them look shorter and fat. I've adjusted to wearing my engagement ring and actually feel naked without it. I thought it would be the same with a wedding band, so I wore a ring with my e-ring and it felt weird. I didn't get used to it -- it just felt like a lot on my finger and I hated the way it hid the details of my e-ring.

the details I didn't want to cover up

I asked Mr. Joey if he cared if I skipped the wedding ring and just wore my e-ring and he said he didn't care. Yay! He didn't care. I didn't think he would. A not wearing a wedding ring didn't make us any less married.

But then, I bought a ring. Nothing fancy. Just a set of really, really thin sterling silver stacking rings. Why? Well, I never travel (for work) with my e-ring. I don't like to travel with expensive jewelry. I don't want to get it stolen or lost and I always feel guilty for having something so luxurious. My ring wasn't expensive, but I know how many people it can feed in Ethiopia or Zambia. I don't want to ever feel permanently guilty for having it, so I try to avoid the situation entirely.

So I bought a set of 7 stacking rings from Kate Szabone on Etsy. They are pretty but they don't look expensive. They fill the space on my finger usually occupied by my e-ring and gives people the indication that I am married. I also chose the stacking ring because if I lost a ring, I wouldn't be heartbroken about it. I could just add another ring or easily replace them.

image

The question now what ring is slipped on my finger during the ceremony -- the e-ring or the travel wedding rings? I can't decide. Any ideas?

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Don't worry, I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about our guests. In the last few months, we've had 3 invited couples break-up. All 3 were in long-term relationships and all 3 just sort of broke up. I know that all 3 of these break-ups were hard and some more complicated than others. For us, it was hard because through each break-up, we sort of lost a friend (at least temporarily). Each couple consisted of someone we were really good friends with and a partner we were just getting to know and like or become pretty good friends with. When couples like that break up, we usually end up severing or suspending ties with the partner until things settle down. It's complicated but doable until your friends break-up around your wedding. Then what are you suppose to do.

Are they still coming as a couple (if they broke-up on good terms)? Possibly but probably not. Do you have to say something to one or either person? Probably but it's weird and awkward. They just broke up and your worried about your numbers? Lame. Do you just leave it and pretend that your friend's ex (and your new friend) may come anyway and just make sure the couple isn't sitting together? All tough questions.

And what do you do if your friend breaks-up with their partner and the is partner invited to other events like bachelor party, showers, after party? We'd love to have the former partners attend but we want to be sensitive to our friend's feelings and we don't want to make their former partners uncomfortable or put on the spot.

I'm telling you, breaking up is hard to do even when you're not breaking up. Anyone have good friends break-up before your wedding? How did you handle it in terms of the guest list and other wedding events?

The Happiest Day of Our Lives (so far)!

The Joeys made it legal yesterday! No, I'm not talking about getting our marriage license (we already did that), I'm talk about getting our building permit! WE HAVE A PERMIT! I can't tell how relieved I am. I feel like a new women -- seriously.

The permit consumed both our lives for the last 3 months particularly all of June. There were a lot of tears, a lot swear words, plenty of begging and pleading and now it's all over and we've got it. I'm so happy that it doesn't even matter that it took 1 month longer than it should have (our paperwork sat on someone's desk while he was on vacation for 3 weeks) or cost us over $2000 more than we were told initially. All that matters is we got it and we break ground Monday.

Getting our permit came at the perfect time. We've got less than a month to go and we both really need to focus on the wedding. Lucky for us, we planned ahead and made some decisions about the house (roofing, siding and kitchen) that should allow my Dad and his team work through our honeymoon without us needing to make any major decisions.

Anyone else have a non-wedding related victory lately that will surely help free up some much needed wedding planning time?