Wedding Traditions : Something Old

OK, OK, I'm late. I promised to post about my next something way back in May but then never got around to it. I have no excuses. You've seen my something borrow, so now my something old...

My something old is really old. It's the oldest anything in my family and besides my engagement ring, the one thing I cherish the most (people not included).

The earrings belonged to my maternal grandma Isabel and before her, to her mother. Great Grandma Joey died when grandma Joey was about 8 years old. These earrings mean a lot because they belonged to Grandma Joey and we were really close when she was alive. I actually think that apart from when we or she was on vacation, I saw her at least once a week until she died when I was 12 years old.

So these earring are special to me not only because they are hers, but also because of the story behind them. During WWII, my grandparents were still living in the Philippines. When the Japanese soldiers arrived in their area, the decision was made that my grandpa and his brother would leave and hide in the jungle until the soldiers left. Everyone in the area had heard stories of what happened to Filipino men when the soldiers arrived. Most were killed and lot were taken as servants and were abused. My grandma stayed. My Mom said she made herself ugly to survive. Mama Joey said that meant my grandma made herself look dirty, wore clothes that were too big (unflattering) and never wore make-up or did her hair. Apparently the things the soldiers did to the pretty women were horrible. I can't even begin to describe what my Mom told me, so I won't.

My grandma was taking care of 4 little ones at the time, and things seem to be going OK for awhile. They had enough to eat and for the most part, the soldiers left them alone. Then my uncle and aunt got sick -- really sick. My grandma brought doctors in but nothing could be done without medicine. She tried to buy some, but there was none to be had anywhere. She sold anything with value in hopes of finding medicine on the black market but there was nothing. The soldiers were not permitting medical supplies into their area. Eventually my grandma lost both children. She never speaks of that time of her life. Everything we know about it was pieced together from my 2 aunts that did survive, my grandpa and his brother.

In the end, she didn't sell everything. She didn't sell the earrings or the matching ring. It was the only thing she saved from her life before that great loss. I only remember her wearing the earring at weddings. Well, I only remember from one picture from one wedding.

When Grandma Joey died, my aunts (4 of them) divided up her things. My mom didn't want to be there so she told my aunts she didn't care what she got as long as she got those earrings. My Mom was already saving them for me. She had hoped to get the ring too, but she didn't. We're not exactly sure who got them or where they are. One of my aunts thought she had them and offered to give them to me but when she looked, it turns out they weren't the pair we were looking for.

The stones in the earrings are suppose to be black diamonds. I'm not sure if they are, I've never had them checked, and I don't really care. My Mom says the earring are from around 1905-ish. Some of the stones are chipped but I'm not going to have them replaced. I will have the earrings cleaned though.

If I could have anyone attend my wedding, anyone - dead or alive - it would be her. Since I can't, I'm wearing these -- my something treasured, my something hers, my something old.

Does your something old have a story behind it?

The ABCs of Being Showered

Sister Joey a.k.a. MOH Joey has been racking her brain for weeks about what to do for my bridal shower. She lives in Italy since her husband is posted there, so she hasn't been able to help with the wedding stuff. She wanted to do an Around the Clock shower but decided explaining the concept to some of the older guests would be too complicated. I liked the idea of something that revolved around the kitchen, but she wanted to be more creative than that and wanted other to be creative too.

So her idea? The ABCs. She assigned each guest a letter and asked that they bring a gift that starts with that letter. This seemed like a great compromise - if people want to be creative, they can, and if they don't, they are likely to find something on the registry that starts with their assigned letter.

I love it. It's sort of schoolish and Mr. Joey is a teacher. She's hoping to do a food or drink item for each letter of the alphabet but that may be a lofty goal. She wanted to do real invitations but finding supplies in her small village was hard. She thought about ordering them but wasn't sure how long it would take. I told her an evite was fine. She scanned in our actual invitation and used it as a background.

Did you have a shower theme? What was it?

Hey Mom! That's Cheating!

Over the last few days my Mom has been bugging me about what Mr. Joey and I want for our birthdays. Mr. Joey's birthday is in 2.5 weeks and mine is 7 days after his. We always tell her we'll be happy with whatever she gives but that never satisfies her. The presents are no big deal. I mostly enjoy the dinner out or even better, when she lets me request any meal in her repertoire.

So she's finally figured out what we want with our help but without us knowing. What did she do? She bought us birthday gifts off the registry. Seriously. She figured out which gifts were really more for Mr. Joey (like the Wii game and BBQ tools) and which gifts were really more for me (the cookbook and GPS). I guess it's a win-win we get stuff we actually want and she gets the satisfaction of getting us stuff we want. Somehow it seems like cheating


Have you ever received or given a wedding registry gift for a birthday?

Party on a Disc

Ah the playlists. Yes, I said playlists, as in more than one. Mr. Joey has to come up with 3 playlists and being the music snob he is and a playlist perfectionist, all 3 may not get done in time. Since we're going without a DJ, we need to come up with a light, cheery mix to play as background music at the rehearsal dinner, something for the reception, and something for the after party. I'm going to guess that the reception will have to be two playlists -- one as background music while people are arriving, mingling and eating, and one for dancing to.

I think the rehearsal dinner playlist will be easy for Mr. Joey to come up with. So will the background music for the reception. I think it's the reception dance music which will consume his time. Trying to find dance music he likes (he doesn't dance) that other will like and is clean (no blatant sexual innuendos and swear words).

To help Mr. Joey out with the playlist, I think I've come up with a plan for the after party playlist -- playing a pre-made mix.

Yes, it seems like cheating but I think it will be OK. Who are we going to play? Girl Talk. The artist/dj samples work from what seems like hundreds of artists from all over the place. In one song you'll hear samples from Chicago, The Quad City DJs, Nine Inch Nails, Blur and Three Six Mafia to name a few. The sound is more Rap and R&B inspired than anything but it's got enough of everything to satisfy everyone. I think it represents our wide and varied musical tastes.

Here's a break down of one of my favorite tracks from the CD

"Set It Off" - 3:42
0:00 - 0:17 Rihanna featuring Jay-Z - "Umbrella"
0:01 - 0:15 Ying Yang Twins - "Jigglin'"
0:05 - 0:20 Swizz Beatz - "Take a Picture"
0:05 - 0:17 Vanilla Ice - "Havin' a Roni"
0:06 - 0:19 Eric B. & Rakim - "Eric B. Is President"
0:20 - 1:21 Jay-Z - "Roc Boys (And the Winner Is)..."
0:20 - 0:40 Kelly Rowland featuring Eve - "Like This"
0:21 - 1:21 Radiohead - "Paranoid Android"
1:00 - 1:24 GZA - "Liquid Swords"
1:25 - 2:03 Mary J. Blige - "Real Love"
1:26 - 2:03 The Guess Who - "These Eyes"
2:04 - 2:09 Aerosmith - "Sweet Emotion"
2:09 - 2:37 Ice Cube featuring Das EFX - "Check Yo Self" (which samples "The Message" by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five)
2:09 - 2:37 Young Gunz featuring Swizz Beatz - "Set It Off"
2:11 - 2:24 Tom Tom Club - "Genius of Love"
2:35 - 3:42 DJ Kool - "Let Me Clear My Throat"
2:36 - 2:37 Mistah F.A.B. featuring Turf Talk and E-40 - "Super Sic wit' It"
2:38 - 2:46 The Spinners - "The Rubberband Man"
2:38 - 2:53 Fine Young Cannibals - "She Drives Me Crazy"
2:47 - 3:39 Bubba Sparxxx featuring Ying Yang Twins and Mr. Collipark - "Ms. New Booty"
2:55 - 3:30 Dexys Midnight Runners - "Come On Eileen"
2:57 - 3:39 Bubba Sparxxx - "Heat It Up"
3:33 - 3:42 Eddie Floyd - "Knock on Wood"
3:40 - 3:42 Fatman Scoop featuring The Crooklyn Clan - "Get Your Hands Up"

source

Come on Eileen? Heck Yeah! If you need some good dance music and you don't think you have the money to hire a DJ or the time to put together a good mix, let me suggest Girl Talk. I hear they have 4 albums though I can only get my hands on 2 of them. I'm definitely ready to get my groove on now.

What are you and your guest going to be dancing to?

Something to get Excited About

So I said in my last post that it's been hard to get excited about anything, but that's a bold face lie. I can get excited about something -- the honeymoon. Mr.Joey and I are going to the land of the Joeys a few days after the wedding and frankly I can't wait. No wedding plans, can't do anything about the house, no cellphone or email -- absolute bliss. We thought about a long leisurely vacation on a beach somewhere but then we'd be bored after a few days. Well, he would. I could see myself hanging out on the beach and reading for a long while.

So what's got my panties all in a bunch (in a good way)? The activities we have planned. We plan on heading north to spend 2 days and 1 night snorkeling on (or is it at?) the barrier reef. I can't wait! We're also doing a massive train trip from Cairns to Brisbane aboard the Sunlander to see some of the country the old fashion way. I love trains and I especially love train when I have a private 1st class cabin. Once we get to Brisbane there is the possibility of cuddling koalas and feeding real Joeys at Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. Koalas -- here I come.

Janet knows what's up

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We have some time scheduled for Sydney and few other places. For now, the big reservations have been made and we can worry about the rest later. I'm happy to get this big chunk of planning off my plate.

An interesting thing I've discovered through honeymoon planning is using the Amazon.com universal registry (see Ms. D'orsay's post) to register for honeymoon events. I know there are a bunch of websites where you can register for honeymoon activities but it's nice to have it all in one place. We registered for tickets to the Refuge and tickets to see Aida at the Sydney Opera House. We think both events would be absolutely amazing gifts but we wouldn't cry about it if they weren't purchased. We'll probably purchase the tickets to the refuge anyway.


Did you register for honeymoon activities? If so, which activity was your favorite?

A Word of Advice...

If you are planning a wedding, don't plan on building a house. Building a house sort of dropped (like a cement block) into our laps. I don't know if I shared with you how this all came about, but here's a little background. When my maternal grandma died, she left me and my parents a pretty good sum of money. Instead of spending it or putting it in a college fund, my parents decided to buy some property. The double lot they purchased wasn't in the best neighborhood, but any house built on it would have a great view.

Over the last 16 years, the neighborhood has really improved. Businesses are coming in and they build an elementary school 3 blocks away from our property. For years, my parents talked about building a house there and making it the last home they had. But something changed a few years ago. As the prices of homes sky rocketed in the Seattle-area, my parents realized that I wouldn't be able to buy a home at 30 like they did. I made decent money for Non-profit work and I'm a really great money saver, but despite that, a house wouldn't be in the cards.

When Mr. Joey and I got engaged, they started talking about giving us part of the double lot. Actually, they started talking about it when sister Joey got married but they didn't seem serious about it until September of last year. Then in January everything was a go. Building priced were down, we could get the money, my Dad (the contractor) had time this summer -- everything fell into place. In March, the last was signed over to me and I became a property owner. Just in time to pay property taxes -- my parents are no dummies :).

We started working with an architect that month and by mid-April had our packet into the city planning office. It wasn't my intention to plan a wedding and build a house at the same time. The cards fell into place and my Dad gave me a "Build it or Bust" speech. So we went with building it. In hind sight, I should have tried to convince him to start later -- like after the wedding. Just the permit process has been all consuming. I feel like I can't put anything into my regular life let alone wedding planning. I don't know how many times I've gotten a call from someone at 2pm telling me to pick up something here and get that notarized there. Luckily, because I've made my life flexible for work, work is now being flexible with my life.

I have wedding DIY projects that need to get done that get put aside because I have to fight it out with my contractor (dad), architect (family friend) or the city planning office. I even got so frustrated with the permit process that I emailed the Mayor's office to complain. Funny, it actually helped. A really nice guy at the planning office has been hand holding my packet through the permit process ever since.

It's hard to stay positive about one good thing (the wedding) when the other good thing (the house) is draining you of all your energy. People ask me what I want for bachelorette parties or showers and all I have to offer is, "I don't care as long as I don't have to do anything." I can't get excited about table settings when all I can think about is if our soil engineer will get his comments to the city by Monday. I thought I could separate the wedding and house but somehow these two different milestone events have become so tied together that I can't think about the wedding without thinking about the house.

The house was suppose to be done right around the time of the wedding. If we had been on schedule, we would have gone from the airport after the honeymoon to the new house. Our registry indecisiveness has revolved around the house. Everyone who knows we're building is expecting to see a house when they come to town. Let's just say there's a lot of stress when I think of the house and then the wedding.

My Mom told me not to stress out about it. She says stress will make for an ugly bride. :) But how can I not stress about two somethings that have taken up so much of my life for the last 3 or 4 months. Sometimes I think we should have eloped, sold the land and bought a condo. I want to be excited about both events -- they both are true blessings -- but most days I'm too tired, too overwhelmed and too busy to be excited.

So yes, my advice, don't plan a wedding and a house at the same time. Did you take on a big project while you were planning a wedding?

Calculating for the Happiest Hours

Over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking about what beverages we will be serving and how much we’ll need. I looked over our list of guests and came up with a breakdown of who would drink what.

Of 121 guests:

21 won’t drink – most are underage but a few don’t drink at all
25 are beer drinkers
20 would definitely do one of our signature drinks
15 would do either our signature drinks or have wine
50 would do wine but 15 of them would only have one glass.

I played with several online beverage calculators and came up with the following beverage needs:

2 cases of both red and white
3-4 bottles of Pimm's
3-4 bottles of Gin
1.5 cases of bubbly
1 keg of beer
Assorted 2 liter bottles of soft drinks

We have a budget of about $720. Our red wine selection is only $6 a bottle. When we had it, we were surprised it wasn’t a $8 or $9 wine. We’re buying the gin at the Coast Guard station and are hoping they carry Pimms too. If not, we can buy it at the state liquor store or have some of our European visitors bring it in for us.

Over the weekend, we visited a wine shop our rehearsal dinner caterer suggested. They recommended the $6 Cabernet Sauvignon we really like.

The visit was OK but a little shocking. The person who helped us obviously knew his wine; he suggested some good wines we could try in the $8 range. The shocking part? The amount of wine he thought we needed.

I shared with him the breakdown I came up with and he suggested a whopping 7 cases of wine. I think my jaw literally dropped. I asked him how he came up with the math and here’s his breakdown despite what I shared about our guests.

Of 100 people:

75 people would drink 1 glass of wine
50 people would drink 2 glasses of wine
25 people would drink 3 glasses of wine
12 people would drink 4 glasses of wine

Um, is it me or does that add up to 162 guests?

We left the recommended wine shop scratching our heads but 4 bottles of wine/bubbly richer.

After some conversation in the car, we decided it may be best to visit some other local wine shops.

The second place we went to confirmed that we weren’t crazy. We shared our guest breakdown and the salesperson said 1.5 – 2 cases of red and white for a total of 3-4 cases. Phew! That was much better! We also walked out of there with 3 more bottles of goodness.

On the way home, we decided to stop by one more shop. We presented our numbers and thankfully they reconfirmed what we heard at shop two more or less. They said 1 case of red and 2 cases of white. Happy with the news, we also walked out of there with 3 more bottles.

11 bottles of wine later, we’re pretty confident that we’ll only need 3-4 cases. We may go with 4 since we were offered some amazing deals from each shop. We’ve yet to decide what to serve – that comes Friday. We’re having friends over to taste the whites and the 3 kinds of bubbly.

How did you figure out how much liquid goodness to buy? Did you rely on an online beverage calculator, a local wine shop or did you just pull it out of thin air?