Unexpected Expense

If you looked at the Joey budget, you'd see that we tried to budget for everything (accept the thank you gifts). We have parking listed, alcohol license accounted for and even put a little money away for signs.

Turns out we already have an unexpected cost. What is it? This….

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No, we're not having a baby but a lot of our friends and relatives have and are. So what does that mean for us? Well, we're having to budget for these:

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Yes, high chairs. The Lake Union Café has two booster seats but we have 4 little ones attending who will need high chairs. We also have about three kids 2-3 years old. This wasn't something I was expecting. I'm not complaining, I just wasn't expecting it. Yes, we could make it an adults only party, but that does seem right to us. My family has always included kids in events. I can't imagine what it would be like to get married and not have some of my cousins there. We're 11 years apart, but we still get along and during family gatherings, I'd much rather hang out with them than the adults.

So now we're renting high chairs. I've been looking around and I think I found a place that will rent high chairs for $4.50 a day and deliver them to our reception site. Not bad. We have an extra $50 we saved from our church and pre-marital counseling fees. That still keeps us on top by $30.

Have you been surprised by some unplanned expenses? What were they and did they dent the budget?

Who's Going to Shake Their Booty with Me?

Thanks to everyone who helped us make a decision about the after party. We are definitely going with Option 3 : A party later in the evening. I think everyone will need a chance to recover after the ceremony and reception.

Now that we have that bit sorted, the next thing we're thinking about is the guest list. Obviously, everyone who attended the wedding is invited. What we can't decide is whether to open up the after party to friends and co-workers who weren't invited to the day's earlier festivities. Since we worked at the EMP together several years ago, Mr. Joey and I have a lot of friends in common we only see occasionally who aren't invited to the wedding. Also, everyone at Mr. Joey's school knows we're getting married this summer at the school. The priest announced it during a faculty meeting. So much for secrets! I also have some people from work I'd love to invite.

We wish we could have invited everyone but it just isn't in the budget. Is it weird to invite people to the after party who weren't invited to the wedding? Would you feel slighted that you weren't invited to the wedding or would you be happy to share a few drinks with us later in celebration?

Shaking my booty all night long or until 8pm!

If you've been following the progress of our wedding day schedule, you know that our ceremony is really early which means our reception is pretty early. Our awesome venue, Lake Union Café, does hosts two receptions on Saturday and we're the afternoon one. I actually don't mind that the reception is in the afternoon. The room with filled with natural light and people will get to appreciate the beautiful daytime views of Lake Union. Fitting right? Celebrating our union on the side of Lake Union. I just figured that one out. :)

So here's our current planning dilemma. The after party. We know we want to have one, but we don't know where and what time.

Option 1
Some where close (walking distance) to the reception venue where we could go immediately after. Probably won't be super nice because most of the bars around there aren't to amazing looking.

Option 2
Somewhere else in the city (within 20 minutes drive) that's nicer but still right after the party

Option 3
Somewhere downtown or within 10 minutes of downtown that nicer and serves food. This after party would take place around 8pm. That gives everyone to a chance to change (if they want) and visitors to enjoy a little of the city during the day. It also gives us time to enjoy what just happened (the getting hitched part).

There are pros and cons of each. We'll get a better turn out for Option 1 but I don't want people to feel obligated to come. This is a totally optional event. It's rare we get all our friends in one place and it would be nice to have a little more time with them before we leave for Australia (woot! woot!) and they get back to their regularly scheduled lives. Saying that makes me feel like Option 3 is a better idea but I don't want people to feel like this wedding is an all day event. Remember we're starting early.

Also, I should say, the after party is a cash bar system. We'd hold reserve a space but we'd expect everyone to pay for themselves as this is totally option.

So what do you think?
Option 1
Option 2
Option 3

Mary, Queen of Yum!

I met Mary when she was temping at the non-profit I was working at in DC. She was really friendly, funny and patient. When I was asked to coordinate a new program, the first thing I did was tell my boss he had to go upstairs and insist the reception temp, Mary, applied for my old job. He did and she did and the rest is history. Mary and I worked with high school students for the republics of the former Soviet Union. I managed 40 smart but mischievous high schoolers and she manage high school exchanges. We spent a lot of time together (we were a department of two), bounced ideas off each other and had a few laughs. My students got themselves into plenty of trouble.

Although Mary was great at shuffling kids around and managing teachers from an array of countries, her true talents lay in the kitchen. I can't tell you how nice it was to come in on Monday to Mary's delicious weekend creations. The strawberry pies, the various curds, oh the beer and cheese bread! She always said she wanted own a bakery. She doesn't own one yet but she's working at a fabulous (a signature word of hers) one now. I'm so happy she's getting to do what she loves. How many of us are that lucky?

When Mr. Joey first got engaged, one of the first things we knew is that we didn't want cake. Mr. Joey doesn't like cake and I don't like it enough to make a case for it. Our original idea was to serve pies. Mr. Joey is huge pie lover. He'll eat any kind but pecan. Pie?! Who makes pies better than Mary? So I asked her if she'd make us wedding pie, and she said YES! I know what you're thinking, aren't we doing cream puffs? Yes, we're doing cream puffs. The more we thought about it, the more we realized pie was about Mr. Joey and not about us. But cream puffs? That's so us! So we changed our minds and I ask Mary if she could do cream puffs. She said yes and all was good again.

And then time passed and I realized maybe it wasn't the best thing to have Mary make the cream puffs. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not sure anyone could make any as good as hers, but I was concerned about time and freshness. Cream puffs have to be eaten fresh. A stale cream puff? Not good. Not many taste good made the night before. To get all the cream puffs done for the wedding, Mary would have to spend the day before the wedding make cream puff shells in a tiny kitchen and spend the morning of the wedding filling them. That's the other thing, I didn't want her to spend her time in Seattle in a kitchen. If she made the cream puffs, she would have missed the wedding ceremony and probably the rehearsal dinner. She'd be running around the reception trying to manage finishing touches and what fun is that?

So I looked around and actually found a Pho (Vietnamese Beef Noodle Soup) restaurant that sells there yummy cream puffs. The owner said they bake and fill their cream puffs really early every morning. Perfect! 200 of $100? You can't beat that! So I emailed Mary and told her the news. I think she was a little relieved. She just baked a wedding cake for a friend and didn’t get to enjoy as much of the wedding as she would have liked.

Oh, but I was done with Mary. Just because she wasn't making the cream puffs doesn't mean she wouldn't be making anything.

I mentioned before that we're having to rearrange our ceremony/picture schedule because of some annual Seattle festivities I hadn't planned on. We thought about renting a bus, but it's just not in the budget. I don't really want to move the ceremony up - especially since the invitations are printed and out. So the solution is to take all the wedding pictures before the ceremony. Not such a huge deal until you realize that the Joey wedding starts at 10am. Yikes! So we're asking guest who want to be in pictures to get there early. We're also asking vendors (hair/make-up and photographers) and the wedding party to get there an hour earlier than scheduled. To make up for this we want to set up a breakfast bar. Think candy bar but with yummy breakfast goods and much needed coffee and tea.

What are we serving? Well, you'll just have to wait for that!

Did you change your mind about using a friendor because you knew it would either be too much of a financial strain for them or because you knew they wouldn't have any time to enjoy themselves?

Brown Dress Plan: weeks 2 & 3

I've just completed weeks 2 & 3 of the brown dress plan. I have to say, week 1 was much easier but 2& 3 weren't bad. I learned a few things that I hope will get me through weeks 5, 6 and 100.

My goals were:

1. Spin class twice a week
2. Eating breakfast every morning
3. Weights and abs an hour a week
4. Additional hour of cardio

How'd I do?

1. Spin class twice a week - week 2: 1 spin class week 2: no spin classes
2. Eating breakfast every morning : check
3. Weights and abs an hour a week : check.
4. Additional hour of cardio : week 2: 2 hours week 3: 3.5 hours

I also managed to get in 2 yoga classes both weeks and a little extra walking in during week 3 since Spring has finally come to Seattle. I wasn't as good with the only walking to the grocery store part of the plan but it did teach me some lessons.

My firsy lesson learned is all about planning. Since I take the bus to work, buying food and storing it in my car while I'm at the gym isn't an option. I need plan my workout days ahead of time so I know which days I need to go to the store. What about going home first and then to the gym? Oh, that's a big no-no for me. Once I'm home, I won't want to leave -- especially for the gym. If I'm home, I will do some weight training or workout DVD. Basically, planning is essential. I need to write out our dinner menu for the week over there weekend, and plan which days I go to the gym and which I workout at home and plan my shopping accordingly.

My second lesson learned is about being flexible. I love my Spin class but it fills really quick. I got to the gym at 4:50 for a 5:30 Spin class and it was already full. During the summer, getting a spot isn't as hard, but right now, it seems impossible unless you find a way to sign up really, really early. I think I need to either explore other classes or just jump on a machine until class turn out dwindles a little. It sucks because 1 hour on the elliptical isn't as satisfying as an hour of Spinning.

What lessons did you learn about a new health living plan or diet after the first few weeks? How did you adjust your plan or diet?

Wedding Traditions: Something Borrowed...

In 4 months time, Mr. Joey and I will be getting hitched. To mark the time, I thought I'd share with everyone one of my something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue things once a month until the big day. I'm so excited to share my something borrowed. I just confirmed I'd be borrowing this "something" about 20 minutes ago and couldn't wait to share.

A little background info first. My favorite Aunt on my Dad's side, and possibly in the world lives in London. Actually, she's my Dad's cousin but to me, she's my Aunt Marie. I met my Aunt Marie for the first time when I was 18 years old. I was on my way to Italy and my Dad suggested I meet my Aunt. I was a little nervous to be staying with an Aunt and family I'd never met but I shouldn't have been. They were awesome. My Uncle Basil is SOO nice and my cousins James and Juliette were about my age and really fun. My Aunt was everything my Dad said she would be and more. Since then, when ever I travel, I try to schedule my layover in London because I want to see them even if it's only for a day.

When Mr. Joey and I got engaged, one of the first people on my list was my Aunt Marie and her family. I asked my Dad for her address and he told me he knew they wouldn't be able to come. I was heartbroken. Then he told me why they couldn't come and not only was I heart broken but I was crushed. In the early 80's my aunt had an operation and of course needed blood. Unfortunately, her procedure was done at time before anyone really tested blood in the UK and a few years later they found out she had received Hepatitis from tainted blood. She's been living with this for over 20 years. There are good years and there are bad ones and it looks like this isn't the best year. My Aunt can't come to the wedding because she starts her 4th or 10th (I can't keep track) of round of treatments for her liver. It's crushing news on every level.

Today my Dad spoke to my Aunt and she said that she was about 90% sure my Uncle Basil and cousin Juliette could come to the wedding. I was really excited about this but was a little worried she wouldn't have the support in London she needed. They all assure me they can manage things for a week and it's won't be a burden.

OK, what was the point of this post? Right, something borrowed. So a few weeks ago, I was looking into how to incorporate our cultures into the wedding. The Filipino stuff is easy. I know the traditions and have figured out how to incorporate them into the ceremony. FMIL Joey is trying to come up with ideas for their traditions. Now just Sri-Lankan stuff. This is where I got stuck. While I am half Sri-Lankan, I was raised like I was completely Filipino. I learned Tagalog as a kid, eat and cook Filipino food and would describe my upbringing as Filipino. My Dad had no family when he moved to the US and married. His family didn't move to the U.S. until I was about 10. By then I was set in my ways. I've never been to Sri-Lankan wedding. My aunts all got married in Sri-Lanka. What kind tradition could I come up with?

I got my Sri-Lankan tradition for the most unlikely place, the Seattle Weddingbee meet-up. I hadn't been to a Sri-Lankan wedding but the other ladies there had. They described the weddings and I went home a goggled some of their ideas. I shared my findings with my Mom and we came up with the Going Away Outfit. So basically the going away outfit (also done in the UK) is a formal Sari that the bride puts on right before leaving the wedding (so I'm told). It signifies that the bride is no longer an unmarried woman. Traditionally, the sari is given to the bride by her groom but not in my case. It's going to be my something borrowed.

I called my Aunt this morning to say hi and tell her how sad I was she couldn't come but how happy I was my cousin and Uncle could make it. We chatted, she joked and then I asked her if in England they had the something borrow tradition. She said yes and I asked her if I could borrow a sari. I told her I know this wasn't exactly traditional but if I was going to borrow something, I wanted it to be special. For the first time in relationship, she was speechless. She said yes and said she knew exactly which sari she would be sending. I won’t see the sari until a few days before the wedding. I don’t care that I don't know what color it will be or how I'm going to put it on. I just care that it's hers.

Did your something borrow represent something emotional? Was it the item or the relationship you have with it's owner?

To Attend or Not to Attend?

Some Joey friends are getting married this weekend in a small town in North Carolina. Mr. Joey is headed there tonight but I'm staying behind. I feel bad about it but when we RVSP'd, I thought I wouldn't be able to go. I was told that I'd be taking a trip to Tanzania in early April and I knew if that was true, I'd be missing our friends' wedding. When my boss told me to go ahead and apply for a Tanzanian work visa, I knew there was a really good chance I'd miss the wedding.

Well, it's early April and I'm still here. Turns out the trip won't be for a while. The visa is still good, so I'm not worried about that. I do still bad about not making it to the wedding though. I knew a few weeks ago that I wouldn't be traveling for work and could have opted to join Mr. Joey, but I decided against it. I know, I know.

My biggest reason for not going is financial. If we both went to the wedding, it would cost us about $700 each not including food and a present. The wedding is in a tiny town that is served by two airline carriers. Fares are not cheap. Also, there's the car rental, place to stay before the wedding and the night of the wedding. I just can't justify that cost right now. I've got a nice big property tax bill coming my way in a few weeks and I'm pretty sure my half payment will be about $700.

Another reason I opted not to go was because I shouldn't take too much time off this month. We're headed to a wedding in San Diego in a few weeks. I took off 3 days to enjoy some sun. Yes, I'm spending money to go to San Diego but in the end because of a flight coupon and awesome condo deal, we're each only $400 for 6 days. We also knew about the wedding 3 months before the North Carolina wedding.

Mr. Joey knew he was going to this wedding from the beginning. Before they started teaching, Mr. Joey and the groom were best friends. They still are fairly close. They play in a band together, used to work at EMP together and are both teachers, so they spend a lot of time hanging out during school vacations. Mr. Joey knew that only 4 people from Seattle were headed to North Carolina for the wedding. This is a destination wedding of sorts.

Now Mr. Joey is doubting his decision. Making lesson plans for substitute teachers takes twice as long as making them for yourself. He's been struggling with his lesson plans all week. In addition, Mr. Joey is using his only 2 personal days for the wedding. He hasn't missed a day of school in 2 years. It's hard for him to miss school on purpose. Besides flying solo to the wedding, I think the biggest reason Mr. Joey is feeling a little down about attending this wedding is because of money. He owed the government money this year and now he's got his share of the structural engineer, architect and building permits to pay for. These weren't expenses we anticipated 4 months ago. I hope the weather gets nice and he really enjoys himself. I don't want him to feel bad about going to a friend's wedding.

Before Mr. Joey bought his plane ticket, I suggested an alternative to going to the wedding. The bride changed jobs late last year and while she happy about her new position, I think she's less than happy about the vacation benefit. She only gets one week and she's using it all to prepare for the wedding in North Carolina. Since the bride and the groom wouldn't be going on a honeymoon, I suggested we buy them a minimoon. I was thinking $250-350 gift certificate with Amtrak Vacations or the Victoria Clipper. I know you can get weekend deals to Portland or Victoria BC including transportation, hotel and transfers for $300. Mr. Joey and I did a lovely train trip to Vancouver last year with Amtrak. I was also thinking a weekend away at their favorite Washington Winery, a bottle of wine from that winery and a little cat sitting coupon from us. Wouldn't that be cute? I thought this was a great alternative; we'd save over a $1000 on the trip and they'd get a lovely minimoon.

What do you think? Knowing our financial situation (our own wedding this summer and house), would you forgive us for not attending your wedding? Would you have gone to the wedding or gave the minimoon gift?